IELTS WRITING TASK 2

Question

Hi everybody. I have just started to study English recently. Do you mind helping me check and correct my essay? thanks for a lot. i wish to could receive some comments from you.

My topic: The government should provide free healthcare

My essay:

In today's world, healthcare is a necessary aspect of people's life. Personally, i believe that the government should provide free medication for their residents to develop their country.

In fact, many people think that it is the government 's responsibility to give free healthcare facilities. As most of people have paid income taxes, property taxes or others types of taxes to the government, they should also have their rights to get some benefits from the government in the form of free medication. In addition, people will enjoy a life if they have not to concern about their affordability of the expensive. In deed, the free healthcare help people to be more concentrated in their daily life, which will lead to a higher efficiency in creating the weath.

On the other hand, many people do not agree with the idea of providing free healthcare. they said that it is the individual role to maintain their own life. Moreover, it is unfair because some people have to work hard and paid a large amount of taxes, but the others might be jobless also get the same benefits from the government. However, i do not think it is true. Because it will lead to the difference between the rich and the poor.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

I have highlighted text with mistakes. Also I included some comments. Please fix the mistakes and post the corrected text. If you have questions. please ask.

In today's world (You are telling the reader that health care was not necessary in your grandparents' time or earlier. ), healthcare is a necessary aspect of people's life. Personally, i believe that the government should provide free medication (Medication is not all of health care. You believe that people should pay for hospitals, surgery, X-rays, and rehabilitation, and the government should pay for the drugs.) for their residents to develop their country. (misplaced modifier?)

In fact, many people think that it is the government 's responsibility to give free healthcare facilities. As most of people have paid income taxes, property taxes or others types of taxes to the government, they should also have their rights to get some benefits from the government in the form of free medication. In addition, people will enjoy a life if they have not to concern about their affordability of the expensive. In deed, the free healthcare help people to be more concentrated in their daily life, which will lead to a higher efficiency in creating the weath.

On the other hand, many people do not agree with the idea of providing free healthcare. they said that it is the individual role to maintain their own life. Moreover, it is unfair because some people have to work hard and paid a large amount of taxes, but the others might be jobless also get the same benefits from the government. However, i do not think it is true. Because it will lead to the difference between the rich and the poor. (Fragment)

IELTS WRITING TASK 2

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