IELTS Writing task 2

Question

Topic: Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion It is true that the question of whether to suppose that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty or those assuming crime is a result of a bad person’s nature remains a source of controversy. While a number of people think offenders are the consequence of communal problems and beggary, I would argue that committing a sin depends on a person who does not have good behavior.On the one hand, there are some research which show the urbanization in some big city increased alarmingly. It could be inferred that the bigger city is, the higher crime rate is. This assertion is reasonable because in many urban area, if those are crowed with citizen, it would be a good chance to robbery, burglary, kidnap or even murder. In addition, criminal could be result from unemployment and poverty. The jobless and the poor who live almost at slums have no opportunity to meet basic needs. Therefore, they break the law to make ends meet.On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why misdeeds are rose by poor. In my opinion, a person who has criminal behavior derives from the carelessness of parents and relatives. It would not come if a child were obedient and polite. For instance, the one who tends to bully others is more likely to become a bad one in the future.In conclusion, although felon could be root from public problems, it seems to me that the bad teaching that causes violation is much more reasonable (255 words)

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Make sure that you use plural words when you mean more than one. Make sure you check your words in a dictionary. Make sure that you have subject-verb agreement in sentences.

It is true that the question of whether to suppose that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty or those assuming crime is a result of a bad person’s nature remains a source of controversy. (Poorly structured sentence. ) While a number of people think offenders are the consequence of communal problems and beggary, I would argue that committing a sin (A sin is not necessarily a crime. It is off-topic. ) depends on a person who does not have good behavior (tautology - If a person has bad behaviour, that is just saying that they sin, but in different words.).

On the one hand, there are some research which show the urbanization in some big city increased alarmingly. It could be inferred that the bigger the city is, the higher the crime rate is. This assertion is reasonable because in many urban area, if those are crowed with citizen, it would be a good chance to robbery, burglary, (those are nouns, not verbs) kidnap (verb - OK) or even murder (verb - OK) . In addition, criminal could be result from unemployment and poverty. The jobless and the poor who live almost at slums have no opportunity to meet basic needs. Therefore, they break the law to make ends meet.

On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why misdeeds are rose by poor. In my opinion, a person who has criminal behavior derives from the carelessness of parents and relatives. It would not come if a child were obedient and polite. For instance, the one who tends to bully others is more likely to become a bad ~~one~~ person in the future.

In conclusion, although felon could be root from public problems, it seems to me that the bad teaching that causes violation is much more reasonable (I cannot understand this sentence.)(255 words)

IELTS Writing task 2

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions