IELTS WRITING TASK 1-TABLE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS

Question

Task 1: The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011.

Age group

Female

Male

0 – 9

51.3

50.3

10 – 17

42.2

24.6

18 – 39

17.1

9.7

40 – 59

12.3

8.0

60+

18.5

13.2

Answer:

The glance at the table provided illustrates information about the proportion of the population by age groups in one town who cycled in 2011.

Looking at the table, it is obvious that in both genders, the percentage of population who rode bicycles experienced a significant downward trend between the age of 18 and 39. However, the figure for female cyclist was still higher than male cyclist in overall

Just a haft of people using bicycles was under 9 years old, at 51.3% for woman and 50.3% for men. The second highest overall was age group 10-17. Compared to aged group 0-9, the percentage of female cyclists still remained high at 42.2%, while the figure for male cyclists decreased sharply at 24.6%.

It is interesting fact to note that the age groups that have strong health were less interested in cycling. Just 12.3% female cyclists and 8% male cyclists were in the age of 40 and 59 – the lowest proportion in overall. While in 18-39 years old, the figures for female bikers and male bikers were 17.1% and 9.7% respectively

In stark contrast, the percentages of people over 60 years old who ride bicycles rose significantly at 18.5 for woman and 13.2 for men

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

I cannot understand your table. It does not have rows and columns. So I cannot evaluate the content of this essay, only certain words and expressions that are not good.

Many of the words and expressions in your essay are not appropriate for this task.
You made a good attempt at Task 1. There is a lot of room for improvement.

The glance at the table provided

How can your glance illustrate anything? Also the examiner wants you to look carefully at the figure and report its features. They would strongly disapprove if you only gave it a glance.

illustrates information about the proportion of the population by age groups in one town who cycled in 2011.

Illustrate means "make a picture". It is a very poor choice of words for lists of numbers. Use it for maps, diagrams and process charts. For tables, use "gives", "shows" or "lists."

"Information" is very vague. Information can be anything from the weight and physique of the cyclists to the manufacture of the bicycles. Use precise and exact expressions in Task 1. What exactly are the numbers in the table? What are the column headings? How many rows does it have?

Looking at the table, it is obvious that

Those words do not tell the reader anything about the table or the data. The reader knows you are writing about a table. You wrote that earlier. So it is repetitious. "Obvious" is your opinion. Do not write opinion words in Task 1.

in both genders, the percentage of population who rode bicycles experienced (Only people have experiences, not percentages.) a significant downward trend between the age of 18 and 39. However, the figure (Figure means the shape of the female body. Avoid the word "figure" in task 1. Use pronouns instead. ) for female cyclist (Was there only one woman cyclist?) was still higher than male cyclist in overall (missing punctuation)

Just a haft of people using bicycles was under 9 years old, at 51.3% for woman (Was there only one woman cyclist?) and 50.3% for men. The second highest overall was age group 10-17. Compared to aged group 0-9, the percentage of female cyclists still remained high at 42.2%, while ~~the figure for~~ that of male cyclists decreased sharply at 24.6%. (Decreased from what? A decrease is when a value for an item goes down. You cannot use "decrease" for two entirely different measurements.)

It is interesting fact to note (That is your opinion or conclusion. Do not write opinions in Task1) that the age groups that have strong health (The health of the group was not in the table. Do not invent things that are not explicitly in the data.) were less interested in cycling. Just 12.3% female cyclists and 8% male cyclists were in the age of 40 and 59 – the lowest proportion in overall. While in 18-39 years old, the figures for female bikers (A biker is American slang for a tough guy or woman who rides a very powerful motorcycle.) and male bikers were 17.1% and 9.7% respectively (missing punctuation)

In stark contrast, the percentages of people over 60 years old who ride bicycles rose significantly at 18.5 for woman (Was there only one woman cyclist?) and 13.2 for men (missing punctuation)

IELTS WRITING TASK 1-TABLE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS

Task 1: The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011.

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