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Donfil Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 : PROCESS

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar canes. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 250 words


(Help me assess this essay. Thank you very much)



The diagram given illustrates the process of producing sugar from sugar canes.

Overall, this manufacturing consists of 7 steps, beginning with sugar cane growing and culminating in drying and cooling finished sugar. In addition, most of the steps of this process are undertaken by machines and specialized tools.

Firstly, the sugar canes need around 12-18 months to grow. After this first period, the sugar canes are gathered by farmers or harvesting machines. Following this, these harvested sugar canes undergo a period called crushing, when they are metamorphosed into juice.

The next step of the process continues with purifying juice. The juice is filtered through a limestone filter and goes into an evaporator. Here, under the heat impact of this system, the juice turns into syrup and is ready for the next centrifuge step, which separates the sugar crystals from the syrup. Finally, these sugar crystals are put into a container to be dried and cooled.

(153 words)

  

Top answer

The diagram given illustrates the process of producing sugar from sugar cane. canes . Overall, this manufacturing (Farming is not manufacturing.

  • The diagram given illustrates the process of producing sugar from sugar cane.
  • canes .
  • Overall, this manufacturing (Farming is not manufacturing.
  • Poor word usage) consists of seven steps, beginning with growing the sugar cane growing and culminating in drying and cooling finished sugar.
  • In addition, most of the steps of this process are undertaken by (Very awkward) machines and specialized tools are used during most of the process.
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2 Answers
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The diagram given illustrates the process of producing sugar from sugar cane. canes.



Overall, this manufacturing (Farming is not manufacturing. Poor word usage) consists of seven steps, beginning with

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For process flow charts, the key thing for the student to do is to combine the steps logically into larger sub-processes. Each of these has an input, an output and one or more steps.

Ask yourself, how can this larger map be divided into parts? What are good names for each part?

In this task, there are clearly two logical divisions. First what the farmer does, and second wh

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