[IELTS writing task 1] Please help me to correct

Question

Price changes for fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinksThe graph below shows relative price changes for fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks between 1979 and 2009.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph compares the prices of three groups of food with the consumer price index over the period of 30 years.

It is noticeable that the cost of three categories and the CPI increased from 1979 to 2009. However, while there was the most significant rise in fresh fruits and vegetables, the figure for carbonated drinks experienced the slowest increase over the period shown.

In the 1979-1985 period, although the prices of all three groups went up from about 60, the figure for carbonated drinks increased more stably than that of the other two. While the cost of sugar and sweets increased steadily, reaching its peak at approximately 100 in 1982. The figure for fresh fruits and vegetables hit its bottom, at below 100, in the two years later, before continuing climbing to the top. By 1985, the price of the three had met at exactly 100, increasing by almost 40 since the beginning.

In the remainder of the period, whereas there was still a considerable variation in how much fresh fruits and vegetables costed, it increased dramatically to below 350, which was also the highest point in the period shown. The figure for sugar and sweets, and carbonated drinks, on the other hand, gradually rose, reaching to roughly 200 and 100 respectively by the year 2009.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The line graph compares the prices (Incorrect. That is not what is on the graph. Comparing prices would be, for example, $459 for an iPhone compared to $322 for a Samsung phone. How can you compare the price of a cola with an apple?) of three groups of food with the consumer price index over ~~the~~ a period of 30 years.

~~It is noticeable that~~ the cost (wrong word. Cost is not the same as price. ) of three categories and the CPI increased from 1979 to 2009. However, while there was the most significant rise in fresh fruits and vegetables, the figure (wrong word. ) for carbonated drinks had ~~experienced~~ (wrong word. ) the slowest increase over the period shown.

In the 1979-1985 period, although the prices of all three groups went up from about 60, the figure (wrong word. ) price index for carbonated drinks increased more stably than that of the other two. While the cost (wrong word. ) of sugar and sweets increased steadily, reaching its peak (??? Did it fall continuously after 1982?) at approximately 100 in 1982. The figure (wrong word. ) for fresh fruits and vegetables hit its bottom, (It was lower in 1979, so that is not "its bottom.") at below 100, in the (??) two years later, before continuing climbing to the top. By 1985, the price of the three had met (wrong word. ) at exactly 100, increasing by almost 40 since the beginning.

In the remainder of the period, whereas there was still a considerable variation in how much fresh fruits and vegetables costed, it increased dramatically to about 325 ~~below 350~~, which was also the highest point in the period shown. The figure (wrong word. ) for sugar and sweets, and carbonated drinks, on the other hand, gradually rose, reaching to roughly 200 and 100 respectively by the year 2009.

This graph does not plot prices. It plots relative price changes in each commodity, compared to the general rate of inflation.

Note that all the lines cross in 1983 at a value of 100. This is where the data for each as well as the CPI is normalized so they can be compared. If a price index goes to from 100 to 200, that means that it costs twice as much to buy the same item. For example, the prices of fresh fruits and vegetables were twice as high in 1995 than they were in 1983. It means that if you went to the store and spent $2 to buy 2 kilos of fresh produce in 1983, you could buy only 1 kilo for $2 in 1995, or you would spend $4 instead of $2 for those 2 kilos.

Model:

The line graph plots the changes in three indices (prices of fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks,) compared with the consumer price index (CPI) over the 30-year period from 1979 to 2009. The indices are normalized to 1983 values.
Overall, the CPI, as an index of inflation, increased 150% or an average of 5% per year. Prices for carbonated drinks increased at a rate less than inflation, and sugars and sweets went up at about the same as general inflation. The index for fresh fruits and vegetables showed an inflation rate of nearly 9%.

To calculate rates of increase, draw a straight line from the first to the last point. Subtract the values on the Y-axis, and divide by the difference in years on the X-axis.

[IELTS writing task 1] Please help me to correct

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