[IELTS WRITING TASK 1] PLEASE HELP ME CHECK MY ESSAY

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

My essay:

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of residents consuming and purchasing coffee and tea in five different areas namely Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart in last 4 weeks

Overall, it can be clearly seen that the number of people from all cities who interested in to go to café for coffee and tea, instant coffee was increased significantly, while the opposite was true for purchasing fresh coffee in last 4 weeks

In terms of Sydney and Melbourne, while the percentage of Sydney's citizens consuming coffee and tea at café was about 61%, the figure for Melbourne was higher, at approximately 65%. In addition, around 47% of instant coffee was purchased by residents in two cities namely Sydney and Melbourne, whereas the proportion of those drinking fresh coffee declined, at about 43% and 45% respectively.

Moreover, Hobart's residents consuming coffee and tea and instant coffee were the highest people in all cities, with about 67%, followed by Brisbane and Adelaide , at 55% and 49% respectively. In addition, around 53% of people in Hobart and Brisbane choose to buy instant coffee, compared to 50% in Adelaide. While the proportion of Hobart's citizens buying for fresh coffee were higher, at over 38%, that of in Adelaide and Brisbane had the similar data, at approximately 35%.