[IELTS Writing Task 1] Please help me check essay

Question

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Canadian using social networking sites in 2014 and 2015.It is clear that there was an upward trend in the proportion of internet users using more than one site, which saw the highest proportion in Canada in the year of 2014 and 2015.In 2014, there was 22 percent of internet users did not use social networking sites while the figure for one site group was 36 percent. In the following year, no sites category saw a small decline by one percent of internet users, whereas the porportion of users in one site group fell significantly from 36 percent to 28 percent.By contrast, the number of users reported for using two, three, four and five sites jumped up together in the whole period. To be specific, in 2014, the percentage of users using two, three, four and five sites were 23 percent, 12 percent, five percent and two percent respectively. After one year, the percentage of two sites, three sites, four sites and five sites increased by one percent, four percent, three percent and two percent respectively.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays: IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

The bar chart illustrates (wrong word. Illustrate is used for maps and diagrams which make a picture or illustration.) the percentage of Canadian (wrong form) using social networking sites in 2014 and 2015. (That statement does not adequately describe the bar chart. )

Model opening paragraphs:

1.

The bar chart compares the usage of social networking sites by Canadians in two years, 2014 and 2015. It divides the people into six categories, determined by the number of these sites that they used, ranging from not using any to using one, two, three, four and five sites. The units of measure are percentages.

2.

The profile of how Canadians used social media in 2014 and 2015 is shown on the bar chart. In particular, it compares the percentages of who did not use any of these social networks, those who used one site exclusively, and those who used multiple sites: two, three, four and five.

~~It is clear that~~ (unnecessary verbiage) there was an upward trend (wrong word. Trends are seen on line graphs, not bar charts with only two data points.) in the proportion of internet users (inaccurate - the instructions do not say these were only internet users. Don't write things that are not in the data provided.) using more than one site, which saw (avoid using see, experience, witness) the highest proportion in Canada in the year of 2014 and 2015.

In 2014, ~~there was~~ 22 percent of internet users did not use social networking sites while the figure (wrong word. ) for one site group was 36 percent. In the following year, no sites category saw a small decline by one percent of internet users, whereas the porportion of users in one site group fell significantly from 36 percent to 28 percent.

By contrast, the number of users ~~reported for~~ using two, three, four and five sites jumped up together (informal) in the whole period. To be specific, in 2014, the percentage of users using two, three, four and five sites were 23 percent, 12 percent, five percent and two percent respectively. After one year, the percentage of two sites, three sites, four sites and five sites increased by one percent, four percent, three percent and two percent respectively.

Louis Xie 121 · Answer

The bar chart indicates the proportion of social media websites that are utilized by Canadians in the years 2014 and 2015.

Overall, the most majority of people in Canada used one site whereas only a minority had five social networking accounts in either of the years.

First and foremost, in 2014, one site users represented the highest percentage compared to other categories, accounting for 36%. Next, although it plummeted up to between 25 and 30 percent, it also headed the list in the year 2015. Besides, there was a difference between 2014 and 2015 about 1% in both no sites and two sites groups with more in 2014 in the former category at 22% while the figure of 2015 was bigger for the ladder (24%).

In contrast, Internet users with more than two sites all witnessed the gradual growth with a slight climb from 12% in 2014 to 16% in 2015 for people visited three sites. Moreover, people with four social networking sites stood up at 5% in 2014 but it then increased by 3% one year later while the percentage of the latest group was just under 5%.

NguyenDucToan HL · Answer

The given chart illustrates how people using multiple social networking site in Canada in 2014 and 2015 in six items sites, with units measured in per cent.
Overall, among six various sites, the percentage of people using one site was highest, whereas the figure for that using five sites was lowest in both of two years in the survey.
It is evident that the proportion of people using one site was highest in the survey, reached a peak at 36% in 2014, slightly higher the figure for this in 2015, with 28%. Flow by the people using two sites, the data for this ranked second place in the survey, with 23% in 2014 and 24% in 2015. The year 2014 the percentage of people using one site stood at third place, was 22% in 2014 and 21% in 2015.
In contrast the rates of people using remaining items sites was under 20% each. The percentage of people using three sites was 12% in 2014, lower than that in 2015, with 16%. Likewise, the figure of people using four sites was 5% in 2015, while the figure for that in 2015 was 8%. Finally, the portion of people using five sites was lowest in the chart review, was 2% in 2014 and 4% in 2015.

[IELTS Writing Task 1] Please help me check essay

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