IELTS writing task 1 - Please help me check

Question

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.-----------------The bar chart compares the proportion of the English and Welsh families which bough house and rented house from 1918 to 2011.Overall, almost English and Welsh households lived in rented house in 1918. Over 90 years, in 2011, more than 50 percent of population owned accommodation in English and Wales.First of all, in 1981, the percentage of households in rented accommodation was the highest, nearly 80% and the percentage of households in owned accommodation was the lowest, at about 22%. Besides, there was a dramatic decrease in the households in rented house and a dramatic increase in the households in owned house in 1971. They had the same proportion was 50%.Furthermore, in 2001, the percentage of families which owned house slightly grew but the figure for it was the highest, almost 70%. Also, the percentage of families which rented house was the lowest and stood at 31%. In the next year, the proportion of households in owned accommodation dropped to 65%, while that of household in rented accommodation rose somewhat around 35%

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The bar chart compares the proportion of the English and Welsh families which bough a house and rented house from 1918 to 2011. (That is not correct. The chart does not plot purchases of accommodation, only the status of their living arrangements: rented or owned.)

Overall, almost English and Welsh households (wrong usage. There are rich households, and large households but there are no "almost households") lived in rented ~~house~~ housing in 1918. Over 90 years, in 2011, more than 50 percent of population (wrong word. Population would be every individual. This is about family units.) owned accommodation in English and Wales.

~~First of all,~~ in 1981, the percentage of households in rented accommodation was the highest, nearly 80% and the percentage of households in owned accommodation was the lowest, at about 22%. (Note that the total in every year is 100%. ) Besides, there was a dramatic decrease in the households in rented house and a dramatic increase in the households in owned house in 1971. They had the same proportion was 50%. (ungrammatical. The sentence is not good English.)

~~Furthermore,~~ in 2001, the percentage of families which owned a house slightly grew ~~but the figure for~~ and it was the highest, almost 70%. Also, the percentage of families which rented their home ~~house~~ was the lowest and stood at 31%. In the next year, (The next year is one year after 2001, that is, 2002. There is no data plotted for 2002.) the proportion of households in owned accommodation dropped to 65%, while that of households in rented accommodation rose somewhat around 35% (Missing punctuation)

I have written an example essay for this because it is a popular essay topic. It is longer than an IELTS Task 2 essay, but it does give some good examples of simple calculations that can be done on these kinds of charts and graphs to impress the examiners.

Note that the sum of renters + owners always equals 100, so, after writing that, you can focus on either the owners or the renters. The trends will be opposite. Note my green and orange trend lines on the diagram, which I used to describe the main features of this chart in the model essay.

The bar chart plots the percentages of families living in England and Wales who owned their own homes over the 93-year period from the end of World War I (1918) to 2011. It also plots the percentage of families who rented. Nine points in time are shown.

The total of these two values (renters and owners) adds up to 100% at each time point. Overall, home ownership increased substantially, the renters outnumbering the homeowners in the first four decades, and homeowners dominating in the last five decades. The chart can be divided into five time periods: first,1918-1939, with increasing home ownership, second,1939-1953, a period of stability, third, 1953-1991, with a rapid growth in ownership, fourth,1991-2001, a period of stability and fifth, 2001-2011, with a decline in ownership.

At the beginning of the period, 1918, 78% lived in rented housing, and the remaining 22% owned their own homes. At that time, there began a general upward trend in home ownership, increasing to a peak of 70% in 1991. There was an intervening period (1939-1953) where the percentage hovered around 33%; that is, one third of the households owned their homes and two-thirds rented. In 1953, the increase in ownership resumed. The numbers of owners and renters were equal (50% in each category) in 1971. The steepest rise in home ownership was between 1953 and 1971, increasing at a rate of about 1% per year. After another stable period, 1992-2001, the trends reversed and the percentage of home ownership declined from its peak of 70% to 65% at the end of the period, 2011. The rate of decline in the last decade was 0.5% per year.

Scarf guava 870 · Answer

The diagram reveals the percentage of houses which are rented and bought in two countries England and Wales in the years 1918 to 2011.

Overall, homes which are rented was dramatically increased in 1918 having almost 80%. Also the risest flats which were owned in 2001 were shown the highest percentage by almost 70%.

Beginning in 1918 the rented houses have slide away, coming by 50% and after 30 years (1971) showing the lowest percentage (30%) in 2001. In 2011 the rented houses considerably starts growing by almost 40 percents.

In 1918 the accommodations which were bought has lowest ( having just 22%), during 83 years, this percentage was unbelievably rise by having 22% to almost 70%. First 14 years in 1939 to 1953 the flats were almost stay constantly (32%- 31%). However starting in 1961 and next 4-5 decades in 2001 the percentages exponentially growth (40%- 69%).

IELTS writing task 1 - Please help me check

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