Ielts writing task 1, please give me feedback and score, thank you so much

As we can see above, the graph illustrates the change of the percentage of domestic access to home modern technology in the UK. In 1996, Internet was not available so there were only three kinds of home technology: mobile phone, home computer and CD player. At that time, CD player was the most popular among all technology devices with 60 percent. Meanwhile, mobile phone just reached a small number of under 20 percent and home computer marked a little better percentage, which was nearly 3 percent. It was not until 1998 that the Internet access first took its place with a number of about 10 percent. Home computer slightly increased to 35 percent while mobile phone rose more sharply and reached almost 30 percent. Besides, the CD player still steadily climbed to 69 percent. After two years, the Internet access, at a sudden, climbed sharply to more than 30 percent while home computer still slowly increased. Moreover, cellphone suddenly slowed down between 1999 and 2000. However, it was still upward trend and ranked almost 50 percent in 2000 and 2001 period. At the time, the CD player had no fluctuations and continually reached a higher percentage, which was 78 percent. In the next years, all four elements of technology devices are upward. Internet access reached 43 percent, mobile phone reached 70 percent, and passed home computer which was 58 percent, and the highest one is CD player with 82 percent. Overview, everything seemed to increase consistently and this also reflected that homes in the UK have such great access to modern technology.