IELTS Writing Task 1 Please Give Me Advice?

Question

The charts provide information about the amount of sodium, saturated fat and added sugars which comes from meals. Provide an adverse effect on person’s health who consume these too much.
Overall it can be seen that the highest nutrients are sodium and saturated fat for dinner, whereas added sugar makes up the largest percentage of snacks.
Looking at the sodium chart in more details, it is evident that the people consume for this purpose more in the dinner at 43%,which is the largest percentage in the all three categories, followed by lunch at 29%.The lowest percentage made up by snacks and breakfast at 14%.
Turning on the saturated fat, it is clear that 37% of saturated fat consumed by people in dinner. The percentage of saturated fat in lunch and snacks at 26% and 21% respectively, followed closely by breakfast at 16%.Finally, The percentage of added sugar are 42% in snacks. 23% of percentage consume added sugar comes from dinner, followed by lunch and breakfast at 19% and 16% respectively.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

Murtaza Bilir · Answer

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The charts (What kind of charts? Are the Gantt charts, bar charts, org charts or something else? How many charts are there? Two, six or some other number?) provide information about (That is very vague. It does not tell the reader what is plotted on the charts.) the amount of sodium, saturated fat and added sugars which comes from meals. Provide an adverse effect on person’s health who consume these too much.
(Do not write imperative sentences in Task 1 essays. The sentence is not good English. You changed topics, so you need to start a new paragraph here.) ) Overall ~~it can be seen that~~ the highest nutrients are sodium and saturated fat for dinner, whereas added sugar makes up the largest percentage of snacks. (That is not a good statement. It says that the snacks are more than 50% made of sugar.)
Looking at the sodium chart in more details, (Please read my advice. Such phrases are wasting words.) ~~it is evident that~~ the people consume for this purpose more (This is not a good sentence. People consume food because of hunger. There is no "purpose" shown in this figure.) in the dinner at 43%,which is the largest percentage in the all three categories, followed by lunch at 29%.The lowest percentage made up by snacks and breakfast at 14%.
~~Turning on the saturated fat,~~ (Ungrammatical.) ~~it is clear~~ ~~that~~ 37% of saturated fat consumed (ungrammatical) by people in dinner. The percentage of saturated fat in lunch and snacks at 26% and 21% respectively, (That is not a grammatical sentence. There is no verb. That is incorrect. The charts do not show the percentage of a nutrient in each meal. It is the percentage of daily intake, divided among the four different meals. ) followed closely by breakfast at 16%.Finally, (spacing error) The (Capitalization error) percentage of added sugar are (wrong verb form) 42% in snacks. 23% (Never begin a sentence with a number written in numerals.) of percentage consume added sugar (ungrammatical) comes from dinner, followed by lunch and breakfast at 19% and 16% respectively. (Here, your idea was correct, but you made a lot of grammatical errors.)

Here are two example opening paragraphs:

The three pie charts, one each for sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar, depict the proportion of daily intake of these nutrients distributed over four meals, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. The data is from the US.

There are three pie charts presenting data on the eating habits of Americans. The first gives the percentage of sodium consumed daily in each of the four meals, the second gives saturated fat, and the third, added sugars. The four meals are breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks.

Here is an example essay that I wrote for another student:

Three pie charts, labelled sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar, show the percentage of that nutrient consumed in each of four meals in a typical day. This data is from the average American diet which consists of breakfast, lunch, dinner, and in-between meal snacks.

Overall, Americans get most of their daily intake of saturated fat and sodium in the evening meal. They get their greatest proportion of added sugars from snacks. Breakfast, which contains moderate amounts of these unhealthy nutrients, is the healthiest meal.

In the first pie chart, sodium, dinner has the largest fraction of daily consumption at 43%, followed by lunch with 29%. A similar pattern is seen in the second pie chart (saturated fat) with dinner having the largest proportion (37%) followed by lunch (26%). Snacks contribute only 14% of sodium, and about a fifth of the saturated fats. The remaining percentages are consumed in the breakfast meal.

The consumption of added sugars has a substantially different distribution, with nearly half (42%) in snacks, and the rest rather evenly distributed over dinner, lunch and breakfast, 23%, 19% and 16% respectively.

IELTS Writing Task 1 Please Give Me Advice?

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