IELTS Writing Task 1. Please evaluate this essay

Question

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.You should write at least 150 words.AnswerThe line graph depicts the changes in the average expenses on cell phone and public phone services of Americans from 2001 to 2010.Overall, two categories experienced opposite trends. While expenditures on residential phone services decreased, the firgure for cellphone services increased throughout the period shown. In addtion, two lines met at the smae point in 2006, with $500.In 2001, US consumers spent roughly $700 on public phone services. On the contrary, only over $200 was spent on public phone services. Over the next five years, cell plone services witnessed a sharp jump to $500, equal to the firgure for residential phone services, which declined exponentially. From 2006 onward, the firgure for cell phone services rose steadily to approximately $800, four times higher than the firgure in 2001. Meanwhile, residential phone services shows reverse trend. The firgure for this category fell dramatically by $300 at the end of the period.

Nguyenngocanhthu · Accepted Answer

Here is the picture, I can not attach it here: https://ieltsonlinetests.com/vi/wot/result/writing-practice-test-1-298865

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The line graph depicts the changes in the average expenses (not a good word. It is on average how much they paid for their cell phone connection per year. ) on cell phone and public (wrong word. Public phones are coin phones that can be used by anyone. That is not what is on the graph. Sometimes this is called "landline" service because a physical telephone wire goes from the phone company to the customer's house. ) phone services of Americans from 2001 to 2010.

Overall, two categories experienced (wrong word. Read my advice. Categories do not see or hear. They do not have experiences.) opposite trends. While expenditures on residential phone services decreased, the firgure (wrong word and wrong spelling) for cellphone services increased throughout the period shown. In addtion, two lines (You were talking about categories, not lines. This does not follow. ) met at the smae point in 2006, with $500.

In 2001, US consumers spent roughly $700 on public phone services. On the contrary, only over $200 (Over $200 is not accurate. $1000 is over $200, and so is $201 or $329.) was spent on public phone services. Over the next five years, cell plone (spelling) services witnessed (wrong word. Read my advice. Services do not see or hear. They do not witness anything.) a sharp jump (Inaccurate. A sharp jump would happen in a very short time, like a week or a month. The line for a sharp jump would be vertical. )to $500, equal to the firgure (wrong word and wrong spelling) for residential phone services, which declined exponentially. (wrong word. Mathematically, it is not a exponential curve. See the figure below which compares exponential decay and linear decline.) From 2006 onward, the firgure (wrong word and wrong spelling) for cell phone services rose steadily to approximately $800, four times higher than the firgure (wrong word and wrong spelling) in 2001. Meanwhile, residential phone services shows ~~reverse~~ the opposite trend. The firgure (wrong word and wrong spelling) for this category fell ~~dramatically~~ by nearly half ($300) by at the end of the period.

You can read my model essay with diagrams and illustrations here:

https://www.englishforums.com/English/CouldReviewEssay/bpjqxd/post.htm

Here is the model essay (without extra illustrations about calculating rates and linear fit of curves.)

The line graph compares the average annual outlay, in dollars, of US consumers for two types of telephone service, cellular and fixed line (residential), between 2001 and 2010.

Overall, this period showed a steady linear decline in fixed-line services and a corresponding increase in cell phone services, with equal yearly spending occurring in the middle of the period, 2006.

In detail, in the first year of the period, 2001, US consumers paid just under $700 for residential service and about $500 less for cell phone service, or about $210. From that point, their spending on fixed-line services went down continuously at a rate of approximately $30 per year, to end at $400 in 2010. In contrast, these consumers increased the money they paid for cell phone services at a rate of about $55 per year, ending at about $760 in 2010. These two values crossed over in 2006 at an amount of about $540. In 2010, the cost of cell phone service was, on average, $70 higher than that of the fixed-line service in 2001.

Here is a comparison of Exponential and linear curves.

IELTS Writing Task 1. Please evaluate this essay

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions