IELTS writing task 1, please evaluate

Question

Good morning ma’am,This is Kevin , I hope you’re doing fine and hope you remember me.The following is a writing task that I have done, could you please evaluate it.Thank you. Writing task 1You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.The diagram below shows how solar panels can be used to provide electricity for domestic use.Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.You should write at least 150 words.My answer :-The following pictures illustrates the various stages through which solar panels can be used to absorb and provide electricity for domestic use.The first picture shows that there is a box possessing  a transparent top, two cylindrical shaped pipes protruding in and out of it in alternate positions with one being on the top while the other down in opposite directions.The second picture portrays that the transparent top absorbs the heat energy coming from the sun while the cool air passes in through the inlet and then exits through the outlet.The third picture explains that the cool water entered inside is exiting as hot water through a water pipe connected from the inlet to the outlet with the help of the heat energy that the sun produces which falls upon the transparent top and thereby helping in the process.Therefore the Solar panels absorb the heat energy from the sun and then this energy is partly used in the forcing out the cool water which enters from the inlet through the outlet as hot water and generating electricity.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Rakingboy · Answer

Writing task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The diagram below shows how solar panels can be used to provide electricity for domestic use.

Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

My answer :-

The following pictures illustrates the various stages through which solar panels can be used to absorb and provide electricity for domestic use.

The first picture shows that there is a box possessing a transparent top, two cylindrical shaped pipes protruding in and out of it in alternate positions with one being on the top while the other down in opposite directions.

The second picture portrays that the transparent top absorbs the heat energy coming from the sun while the cool air passes in through the inlet and then exits through the outlet.

The third picture explains that the cool water entered inside is exiting as hot water through a water pipe connected from the inlet to the outlet with the help of the heat energy that the sun produces which falls upon the transparent top and thereby helping in the process.

Therefore the Solar panels absorb the heat energy from the sun and then this energy is partly used in the forcing out the cool water which enters from the inlet through the outlet as hot water and generating electricity.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The following (How many?) pictures illustrates the various stages (That is incorrect. This is not a process flow chart. There are no stages or steps on this diagram.) through which solar panels can be used to absorb and provide electricity (That is completely wrong. Solar panels do not absorb electricity. Also, there there are no electric wires on any of these pictures, so how can you write that there is electricity being generated?) for domestic use.

The first picture shows ~~that there is~~ a box ~~possessing~~ with a transparent top, two ~~cylindrical shaped~~ (unnatural. All pipes are long cylinders.) pipes protruding in and out of it in alternate positions with one being on the top (incorrect. The glass panel is on the top. There is no pipe going through the panel.) while the other ~~down~~ leads in the opposite directions.

The second picture ~~portrays that~~ shows the transparent top absorbing ~~the~~ heat energy coming from the sun while the cool air passes in through the inlet (You did not define what the "inlet" is and how it relates to the pipes. Poor coherence and cohesion.) and then exits through the outlet. (You did not define what the "inlet" is and how it relates to the pipes.)

The third picture ~~explains that the~~ shows cool water entering ed inside is and exiting as hot water through a water pipe connected from the inlet to the outlet with the help of the heat energy that the sun produces which falls upon the transparent top and thereby helping in the process.

(That makes no sense. It is very poorly explained.)

Therefore the Solar (No capital letter) panels absorb the heat energy from the sun and then this energy is partly used in the forcing out the cool water which enters from the inlet through the outlet as hot water and generating electricity.

(There is no electricity shown on any of these diagrams. You did not understand this diagram very well. The instructions are defective, illogical, and unscientific. Do not pay any attention to these horrible instructions.

Your essay has very little cohesion and coherence. The paragraphs are too short and choppy. You did not show any relationships between the three pictures.

If you would like a sample essay, you may ask for one.)

AlpheccaStars · Answer

This is a schematic diagram of a solar panel that generates electricity for household use.

This type of solar panel is made of a sandwich of two types of silicon. When solar rays strike the exposed side, it excites electrons and causes them to move. This generates electricity to run light bulbs, refrigerators, phone chargers, vacuum cleaners, televisions, and all the different electric appliances in the house.

Anonymous · Answer

The diagram depicts a method of generating electricity solar panels for domestic usage.

Overall, We can see in the illustration that the sun rays play a crucial role in electricity production as its the source of heat energy with which power is generated.

Firstly, a transparent top is placed over a box having an inlet and outlet on either sides.

we can see that there are two ways in which production of current can take place by either using air or water. when air being the inlet, when the cool air crosses the transparent topped box on which the sun rays are falling it becomes warn and thus,warm air is seen to be the outlet Consequestly,leading to the creation electrical enegery.

On the other hand,when cool water was passed via inlet with water pipe being the medium between the inlet and outlet ,the raise in temparature of water is observed due to the heat rays of sun falling on it .Thus,warm water passing out through outlet Hence making the solar panel as source of power that can be used for domestic needs.

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