Ielts writing task 1 (pie chart)

Question

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Average Household Expenditures by Major Category

MY REPORT

The pie charts provide the percentages of the residence spending in five categories: Housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services in 2 countries: Japan and Malaysia in 2010.

Overall, in Japan the expenditure that had most percentages was other goods and services. In Malaysia, housing was spent most. Both Malaysia and Japan had the smallest segment of health care.

First, there was about 29% of expenditure that was used for other goods and services and 6% for health care in Japan. Both of them were higher than Malaysia 3%. About the transport, the Japanese spent for this category twice as Malaysian (approximately 20% in Japan).

Next, in Malaysia, the percentage of money that the people spent for food was more than Japan approximately 3%. About the housing, the Malaysian paid more than one-third for it compared to about one-fifth in Japan.

Thanks for checking for me.

Poster · Accepted Answer

At 144 words, the report is under the required length of 150 words. It is best to write at least ten per cent over length, to ensure the submission is not penalized.

The two pie charts provide the percentages [a breakdown] of the residence household* spending in Japan and Malaysia in 2010. There are five categories: Housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services ~~in 2 countries: in Japan and Malaysia in 2010~~.

Overall, in Japan the expenditure that had most percentages was other goods and services. In Malaysia, housing was spent most. Both Malaysia and Japan had the smallest segment of health care.

The marking criteria require the report to present 'presents a clear overview of main trends, differences or stages'. Where there are two pie charts, the overview should highlight the differences. Something like:

The proportion of household spending on housing was much higher in Malaysia than Japan, whereas spending on transport was much less. The percentages for food and health were relatively similar. The top item of expenditure in Malaysia was housing, while in Japan it was transport.

~~First,~~ there was about 29% of expenditure that was used for other goods and services and 6% for health care in Japan. [The percentages here are wrong, or in the wrong order: this will severely compromise the score for Task Achievement.] Both of them were higher than Malaysia 3%. [This section was confusing.] ~~About the transport,~~ At twenty percent, ~~the~~ Japanese households spent ~~for~~ [wrong preposition]~~this category~~ twice as much on transport as households in Malaysia.~~(approximately 20% in Japan).~~

~~Next,~~ in Malaysia, the percentage of money that ~~the people~~ households spent for [preposition error] food was more than Japan by approximately 3%. [The actual percentages also need to be stated.] ~~About the housing, the~~ Malaysian households paid more than one-third for it housing compared to about one-fifth in Japan.

The detail paragraphs, should support the points raised in the overview. As there are only five categories, try dealing with each one in turn and making the comparison between the countries.

The other detail paragraph could look at comparing the expenditures within each country. For example:

At 34 per cent, households in Malayasia spent over fifty percent more than in Japan on health care as a proportion of their overall expenditure.....

At 27% and 26%, spending on food and transport in Malayasia were roughly equal, while in Japan households spent slightly more on transport (29%) than food (24%) as a percentage.

See here for a good approach:

https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2018/09/ielts-writing-task-1-super-cohesion.html

Ielts writing task 1 (pie chart)

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