IELTS Writing Task 1 - Mix Pie Chart and Table - transport and car use in Edmonton

Question

Hi everyone,I am aiming at IELTS writing 7.0. Please review my IELTS writing task 1 below:The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.(Link for the image: https://www.google.com/search?q=The+diagrams+below+give+information+on+transport+and+car+use+in+Edmonton.&rlz=1C1CHBF_en-GBAU920AU921&sxsrf=ALeKk02RVh24gongckw6YN69MSTgBIj4ig:1611986522558&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi96Lzg_cLuAhWAyDgGHYwMDbMQ_AUoAXoECAQQAw&biw=1024&bih=625#imgrc=NG2Hfukhm3bARM )The pie chart depicts the percentage use of four modes of transport in Edmonton, while the table provides data on five different reasons for driving cars in the city. Overall, it is clear that the city dwellers prefer cars to other vehicles and their main purposes for driving are mainly work-related.As can be seen from the pie chart, car is the most popular means of transport, accounting for 45% of the total. There are only two types of public transport in the city, namely LRT (Light Rail Transit) and bus. However, the number of residents using LRT more than triples that traveling by bus: 35% versus 10%. Finally, the number of bus and taxi passengers are exactly the same. Among reasons for using cars in the city, work travel is the major one, with a figure of 55% for commuting and 45% for business. Besides, taking children to school is also high on the list, at 40%. Using the car for shopping is recored at 15% and the same figure is given for leisure activities.Word count: 176

Teechr · Accepted Answer

Post those diagrams below.

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

My Nguyen 2525As can be seen from the pie chart, car is the most popular means of transport, accounting for 45% of the total. There are only two types of public transport in the city, namely LRT (Light Rail Transit) and bus. However, the number of residents using LRT more than triples that traveling by bus: 35% versus 10%. Finally, the number of bus and taxi passengers are exactly the same.

You have violated the main rule of paragraphing.

A paragraph has one topic, one point, or one idea.

Your paragraph has two ideas.

1. A description of the infographic.

2. The main features of the information content.

So you need two separate paragraphs, one for each idea.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

My Nguyen 2525The pie chart depicts the percentage use of four modes of transport in Edmonton,

What are the four modes?

My Nguyen 2525while the table provides data on five different reasons for driving cars in the city.

What are the five reasons and what is the nature of this data?

Example opening paragraph:

Note: this is a not a good IELTS practice test. It is not clear what the basis for the pie chart is, but "use of transport" implies that it is percent of number of trips, not passengers or people. So I give two different paragraphs, depending on the assumption that you make.

The pie chart gives the percentage of trips taken by Edmontonians by four different means of transport: private car, light rail, bus and taxi. The table gives the percent of the people who gave one of five reasons for using their car in the city. Two reasons are work related, and the other three are personal daily activities such as shopping.

The pie chart gives the percentage of Edmontonians traveling in the city by four different means of transport: private car, light rail, bus and taxi. The table gives the percent of the people who gave one of five reasons for using their car in the city. Two reasons are work related, and the other three are personal daily activities such as shopping.

My Nguyen 2525Overall, it is clear that the city dwellers prefer cars to other vehicles and their main purposes for driving are mainly work-related.

This sentence does not belong in the first paragraph. It belongs in the second paragraph, which answers the essay prompt: "Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features" You need to write two or three of these main features.

Overall, ~~it is clear that~~ (This clause is unnecessary filler. "overall" indicates that you are reporting the main features.) the ~~city dwellers~~ people of Edmonton prefer cars to other vehicles and their main purposes for driving are mainly (repetitious) work-related.

My Nguyen 2525As can be seen from the pie chart,

~~As can be seen from the pie chart~~, (This is unnecessary. Focus your words on the information content. ) Going by car / A car / Cars [are] car (wrong form) is the most popular means of transport, accounting for 45% of the total usage. There are only two types of public transport in the city, namely LRT (Light Rail Transit) and bus. and together they also account for the same amount as cars, 45%. However, the number of residents (That is not what is on the chart. A number would be 34,678. The chart is percentages, not numbers. ) using LRT more than triples that (awkward, unnatural) traveling by bus: 35% versus 10%. Finally, the number of bus and taxi passengers are exactly the same.

My Nguyen 2525Among reasons for using cars ...

Among reasons for using cars in the city, work-related travel is the major one, with ~~a figure of~~ 55% respond that they use a car for commuting and 45% for business. Besides, taking children to school is also high on the list, at 40%. Using the car for shopping is recored at 15% and the same ~~figure~~ is given for leisure activities.

"Figure" is not a natural word here.

My Nguyen 2525 · Answer

Thanks to the instruction of Teechr, I just fixed the image of the question. Hope this could make it easier for you all to review my report.

IELTS Writing Task 1 - Mix Pie Chart and Table - transport and car use in Edmonton

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