IELTS Writing Task 1 - Means of transport

Question

Thank you for you help!The three bar charts compare the means of transport used by the citizenships of six European countries. The first bar chart provides information about the number of kilometres travelled by car per year while the second graph focuses on the number of kilometres travelled using means of transport other than cars. Finally, in the last bar chart is reported the commuting time in minutes for the same six countries. (too long?)Overall, Denmark is the first country for both kilometres travelled by car and with other transportations. Besides, the Scandinavian country is the only state above the European Union average for all the three categories.Danish are the ones who travelled more by car. Specifically, the number of kilometres travelled by car amounts a bit more than 12,000, a few hundreds more than in France, which is second in this ranking. Italians, instead, travel around 11,000km by car every year.  For what concerns travels with public transport or bike, Denmark is still in the first position, with an average of 3,000km per year. Italy is now in second position, followed by Spain and Germany. In particular, these four countries are the only for which citizenships have a kilometrage (wrong) above 1,000km.Regarding commuting time, the UK and Germany occupy the first positions. In fact, although these two countries are not in the top positions for what concerns travels by car or other means of transport, they are firsts by far in this category. Italy is the least country for time spent by commuters while Denmark is third, with 20 and 37 minutes per day respectively.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

This task seems very dubious. I have never seen an IELTS task 1 to have that much data. And the data is suspect. Denmark is a very small country; Germany is eight times larger and Spain is 12 times larger. It makes no sense that people travel longer distances in Denmark than in Germany or Spain! Also, the average commute times do not reflect actual data. The information is just made-up.

Please be careful in choosing tasks for practice.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You have 265 words. You should aim for 170. I have highlighted wrong words, forms or phrases.

The three bar charts compare the means of transport used by the citizenships of six European countries. The first bar chart provides information about the number of kilometres travelled per person by car per year while the second graph focuses on the number of kilometres travelled using means of transport other than cars. Finally, in the last bar chart is reported the commuting time in minutes for the same six countries. (too long?) Yes, there is too much repeating. It is too wordy and you never mentioned the EU average or the names of the six countries. So you wrote many many words with very little content.

Your first paragraph was 70 words, nearly half of the minimum count. This is 20 words less with more information.

The three bar charts give 1) the average distance traveled per annum per person by car, 2) the same, but by all other means of transport, and 3) average daily commute time in minutes. Bars are shown for each of six European countries as well as the EU average.

Overall, Denmark is the first country for both kilometres travelled by car and with other transportations. Besides, the Scandinavian country is the only state above the European Union average for all the three categories.

Danish are the ones who travelled more by car. Specifically, the number of kilometres travelled by car amounts a bit more than 12,000, a few hundreds more than in France, which is second in this ranking. Italians, instead, travel around 11,000km by car every year.

For what concerns travels with public transport or bike, Denmark is still in the first position, with an average of 3,000km per year. Italy is ~~now in~~ second ~~position~~, followed by Spain and Germany. In particular, these four countries are the only for which citizenships have a kilometrage (wrong) above 1,000km.

Regarding commuting time, the UK and Germany occupy the first positions. In fact, although these two countries are not in the top positions for what concerns travels by car or other means of transport, they are firsts by far in this category. Italy is the least country for time spent by commuters while Denmark is third, with 20 and 37 minutes per day respectively.

IELTS Writing Task 1 - Means of transport

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