IELTS WRITING TASK 1 ( Line Graph). I don't have anyone to help me correct the essay. Could someone kindly check it, please? If it's possible, may you give me a mark? Thank you so much!

Question

The chart below gives information about car ownership in the UK from 1975 to 2005 (percentage). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The given line graph shows the percentage of people who owned cars in the United Kingdom over a thirty-year period between 1975 and 2005.

Overall, the proportion of individuals possessing one car dominated in a total of four groups, while the percentage of people who did not own any car went down. In addition, there was an upward trend in the groups "2 cars" and "3 cars".

From 1975 to 1985, the proportion of both groups "1 car" and "no car" showed a downward trend. Specifically, despite being the first place, people who had just one car still reduced from 45% to 38%. The second place was the percentage of people who did not have any car also declined by nearly a fifth, from 43% to 25%. By contrast, the two groups left (3 cars and 2 cars) went up gradually, at 5% and 14% respectively.

Between 1985 and 2005, the group "1 car" still held the highest rank, grew by 7%, whereas the group "no car" continued to drop at approximately 22%. However, there was a slight rise in the proportion of individuals possessing two cars, from 14% to 18%. A similar trend was seen in the group "3 cars" that increased steadily to 9%. Generally, the number of people owning 1–3 cars in 2005 (50%) was 37% higher than in 1975 (13%).

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

The ~~given~~ (Unnecessary and awkward. Delete) line graph shows the percentage of people who owned cars in the United Kingdom over the thirty-year period, ~~between~~ 1975 to ~~and~~ 2005.

The opening paragraph is inadequate. You did not write that there are four curves on this graph. You did not tell the reader what these curves were about. Thus, your essay will be poor in cohesion and coherence.

Also, these are probably not individuals who owned the cars, but families or households. For example, if both husband and wife are working, they are likely to have two cars. It is highly unusual for one single person to own more than one car. That omission is a defect in the instructions. And that is not the only problem with this task. The data has significant problems, too.

You should not use this graph for a practice essay. It is quite terrible. Can you find what the issues are with this horrid practice test?

Overall, the proportion of individuals possessing one car dominated in a total of four groups, (awkward, unnatural) while the percentage (do not mix synonyms in one sentence. It reduces coherence. Use pronouns instead.) of people who did not own any car went down. In addition, there was an upward trend in the groups "2 cars" and "3 cars". (You did not mention these groups in the first paragraph, so there is no cohesion or coherence)

From 1975 to 1985, the proportion of both groups "1 car" and "no car" showed a downward trend. Specifically, despite being the first place, people who had just one car still reduced from 45% to 38%. The second place was the percentage of people who did not have any car also declined by nearly a fifth, from 43% to 25%. By contrast, the other two groups ~~left~~ (3 cars and 2 cars) went up gradually, at 5% and 14% respectively.

Between 1985 and 2005, the group "1 car" still held the highest rank, grew (wrong verb form) by 7%, whereas the group "no car" continued to drop to at approximately 22%. However, there was a slight rise in the proportion of individuals possessing two cars, from 14% to 18%. A similar trend was seen in the group "3 cars" that increased steadily to 9%. Generally, the number (wrong word) of people owning 1–3 cars in 2005 (50%) was 37% higher than in 1975 (13%).

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Apparently, some person, who failed all of their math classes, edited a task for this same subject.

https://www.englishforums.com/English/CouldReviewIeltsWritingTask-Essay/bpxbgm/post.htm

The original has problems, too, because the curves are too jittery to be actual data points. But the edited version is extremely bad.

Sample essay for this task:

The line graph plots the percent of households in the UK according to the number of cars they owned from 1971 to 2007. Specifically, there are four curves: those who had no car, one car, two cars and three or more cars.

Overall, car ownership increased. The category of one-car households was the highest from 1978 on. Those who had more than one car went up, offset by the decline in families with no car.

In detail, at the start, just over half the families owned at least one car. Those with only one car remained in the narrow range between 42 and 45% during the entire period. In 1971, the percentage of those with no car was higher, but that dropped below the one-car household in 1975-78. Less than one family in ten had more than one car until after 1979 when their percentages began to go up, especially for the two-car households. As the percentage of those without a car went down, the ones with two cars increased, and the curves crossed in 2004 at about 25%.

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 ( Line Graph). I don't have anyone to help me correct the essay. Could someone kindly check it, please? If it's possible, may you give me a mark? Thank you so much!

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