IELTS WRITING TASK 1 LINE GRAPH AND PIE CHART

Question

Essay topics: The two figures below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of different ages in the UK and the proportion of male and female prison inmates in the British prison system.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two figures given describe the crime proportion in Britain. The first provides information about the rates of conviction between men and women, while the other shows the gender balance of the UK prison population.

With the data supplied, it is obvious that men tend to commit a crime far more than women in Britain. However, both sexes have a similarity in the increase of offenders during adolescence and peaks at the age of 20, then constantly go down for the subsequent decades. From the top at 14% of 20-year-old male prisoners to a mere 2% of crimes committed by 60 year-old man. Also, there is no guilty women at the age of 60.

And from both of the graphs, it is easy to spot out that when there are 24 men who are criminal, only 1 woman is found guilty.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

thaihuynhEssay topics: The two figures below

Where are these figures? I cannot see them.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The two figures (What kind of figures are presented? Are they process maps or bar charts or something else?) ~~given~~ describe the crime proportion in Britain. (That is not good. "Crime proportion" would be, for example, the proportion of each kind of crime: car thefts, muggings, shoplifting, illegal drug sales, murders and burglaries. For example, 20% are car thefts and 14% are for shoplifting. That is "crime proportion." ) The first provides information about the rates of conviction (That is not good. "Rate of conviction" would be the number of convictions divided by the number of arrests. For example, there were 100 arrests for murder, but only 6 resulted in a conviction. The rate of conviction for murder is 6%) between men and women, while the other shows the gender balance in of the UK prison population.

Model opening essay:

The pie chart depicts the relative proportions of men and women in the prison population of the UK. The line graph plots the percentage of criminal convictions as a function of the age (ranging from 10 to 60) of the convict. There are two lines, one for male and one for female convicts.

~~With the data supplied, it is obvious that~~ (Those words tell the reader nothing about the information. They are useless and unnecessary.) Men tend to commit a crime far more than women in Britain. However, both sexes have a similarity in the increase of offenders during adolescence which ~~and~~ peaks at the age of 20, and then ~~constantly go~~ continuously goes down for the subsequent decades. From the top at 14% (wrong number. Read the graph accurately!) of 20-year-old male prisoners to a mere 2% of crimes committed by 60 year-old man. (That is not a sentence. It is a prepositional phrase.) Also, there is no guilty women at the age of 60.

Model paragraph:

At every age, many more males than females were convicted of crimes, but the relationship between their age and percentage of convictions were highly correlated. At age ten, there were a few male criminals (2%) but no women. Both curves rise steeply through the teenage years to a peak, which occurs at age 20. At that age, men had more than three times the number of convictions, 16% compared to 5% of the total. By age 45, the percentages have declined to 8% for the men and 1% for the women. And at age 60, there were still a few (2%) men convicted, but no women. The percentage of convictions for the males is 8% or higher continuously between age 15 and 48. The average for women in that same age range is less than half, about 3%.

This pattern of convictions has yielded a prison population where one in twenty-five are women, as shown in the pie chart.

~~And from both of the graphs, it is easy to spot out that~~ when there are 24 men who are criminal, only 1 woman is found guilty. (That is not good. I do not understand it. I think you mean this: One in every 25 inmates is a woman. / Out of every 25 inmates, one is a woman.)

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 LINE GRAPH AND PIE CHART

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