IELTS Writing Task 1 (Letter) Review Needed

Essay topics: you work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
Explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months
Say how your work could be done while you are away
Ask for him/her help in arranging it

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing this letter to you to express my great willingness in the training program “Essential Selling Management” which will be held in the upcoming month in our head office located in Shanghai, China. For your information, I am currently working in the Taipei office; thus, a short period of relocation will be needed so that I am able to work in our head office during the training.

As a regional manager, through examining the curriculum of this program carefully, I learned that it contains numerous theories and practices which, I believe, will be substantially beneficial with respect to my current work.

I am fully aware that taking lessons in another workplace might lead to poor communication with the colleagues working remotely. However, thanks to the state-of-art remote meeting and collaboration system of our company, I am convinced that If I keep online during my absence, I could be reached without any obstacles. As for handling the daily work, I will ask my secretary John to help me with all kinds of everyday issues.

I would appreciate it so much if you could offer me this chance of a lifetime to take the training courses and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,
Perry Huang