[IELTS WRITING TASK 1] : HELP ME TO CHECK THIS ESSAY PLS

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts provide information on the proportion of ordinary expenses, divided into four sectors by Japanese and Malaysian in 2010.
At the first glance it is undeniable that the smallest ratio of the total expenditures was allocated for caring health activities in both Japan and Malaysia.

One out-standing feature is that other goods and services spending held the largest part in Japan, accounting for almost one third of total expenses, which was more than 3% higher than that of Malaysian. Meanwhile, over a third of housing was consumed by the Malaysian in 2010, which was exceeded that of Japanese did in the same year by more than 10%.

The rest of the resident’s spending was seperated between transport and food. The share of Japanese who spent their annual income on transport was doubled that of Malaysian, 20% compared to 10% in the year 2010. A reserved pattern applied to food spending, representing for around a quater of total expenditures, 24% and 27%, in Japan and Malaysia respectively.