IELTS Writing Task 1 - electricity

Question

Thank you for your time!task 1The bar chart illustrates the ten countries which produce and consume more electricity in the year 2014. Both the consumption and production of electricity are measured in billion kWh.The top three countries in this ranking are China, the USA and Russia, which produce more electricity than the one they consume. Moreover, the United States is the country which presents the highest proportion of electric energy which is not consumed, amounting for roughly 233 billion kWh, followed by India. The first European country in the list is France which occupies the seventh place. Far east countries, instead, are the more numerous, with 5 nations in the first ten positions.According to the bar chart, all the countries produce more electric power than the one consumed with one exception, namely Germany. In fact, Germany, which occupies the ninth position, does not present an overproduction of electric energy as for all the other countries, but an underproduction amounting to 55.9 billion kWh.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The bar chart illustrates (wrong word) the ten countries which produce and consume more electricity (that makes no sense) in the year 2014. Both the consumption and production of electricity are measured in billion kWh.

Example paragraph:

The bar chart compares

Example paragraph:

The bar chart compares the amounts of electricity generated and used in the ten countries with the world's highest production. Data is given for 2014, the units are billions of kWh, and the bars are ordered from highest to lowest amounts produced.

The top three countries in this ranking are China, the USA and Russia, which produce more electricity than ~~the one~~ (One electricity makes no sense.) they consume. (All countries but one produce more than they consume.) Moreover, the United States is the country which presents (wrong word) the highest proportion of electric energy (wrong phrase) which is not consumed, amounting for (wrong word) roughly 233 billion kWh, followed by India. (Your point is not clear. ) The first European country in the list is France which occupies ~~the~~ seventh place. Far east countries, instead, are the more numerous, with five 5 (Use words for small numbers that are not data values) nations in the first ten positions. (Your second paragraph is too long. The continent of the countries (Europe, Asia, and North America) is not shown on the chart. So these comparisons are not really focused on the information. Instead compare and contrast the information that is on the chart. For example:

The ratio of the amounts of electricity produced in China (the highest producer) to lowest (Republic of Korea) was more than 11:1. (Alternative: Top-ranked China produces eleven times more energy than tenth-ranked Republic of Korea.)
The US produced about 75% of the amount of electricity that China did. Whereas China used nearly all that it produced, the US consumed about 95% of its production.
There was a large gap between the second (USA) and third (Russia) countries on the list. Russia, in third place, produced about a quarter of what the US did, and slightly less than 20% of China's amount. Like China, it used almost all of the electricity that it generated.
The total production of the USA and Russia was more than the other eight countries combined.
France, Brazil and Germany (ranking 7, 8 and 9) had very similar production values, ranging from 526 to 561 billion kWh. This was a little more than ten percent of China's production.
India consumed only 80% of what it generated. That was the lowest percentage of all the countries listed.
The difference between production and consumption was lowest (less than 2%) for China and Russia.
Germany was the only country that consumed more than it produced, with a deficit of about 10% or 56 billion kWh.

~~According to the bar chart,~~ (Those are unnecessary words. They do not tell the reader anything about the data.) all the countries produce more electric power than they ~~one~~ consumed with one exception, namely Germany. (This point is a main feature and should be in the "overall" paragraph.) In fact, Germany, which occupies the ninth position, does not present (wrong word) an overproduction of electric energy as for all the other countries, but an underproduction amounting to 55.9 billion kWh. (Repetitive information. This paragraph does not have enough information. You mention only one country out of ten.)

IELTS Writing Task 1 - electricity

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions