Ielts writing task 1 correction

Question

Hello everyone , here is my essay for the topic . Could you guys please help me to correct it ? Thanks

The graph illutrates the quantity of minutes duration among different types of telephone calls in Uk , between 1995 and 2002.

It is clear that the local line category was mostly used , while the minutes spent on mobile call was lowest . Additionally , the mobile line and national and international line category experienced the upward trend during the research period.

In 1995, the local line category was highest , at more than 70 billion minutes , while the figure for national and international line was lower , at 38 billion minutes.About 2 billion minutes were made from mobiles line . From 1995 to 1999 , there were dramatic increase to 90 billion minutes , 50 billion minutes and 12 billion minutes in the number of local call, national & international call and mobile phone call.

In 2002 , there was a slight drop to 72 billion minutes in using local call . By constrast , the number of minutes (in billion) of national & international call and mobile phone call rose to 60 billion minutes and 45 billion minutes respectively.

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AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You make a lot of spacing errors. Put a space after a punctuation mark. Do not put a space before a punctuation mark. Also, you make a lot of mistake in singular versus plural nouns.

The graph (wrong word. This is not a line graph, although you could derive a graph from it.) illutrates the quantity of minutes duration (incorrect expression. The chart does not show the duration of calls. ) among different types of telephone calls in the Uk , (Wrong punctuation - two errors) between 1995 and 2002.

Suggestion for opening paragraph: The bar chart compares the total minutes of telephone calls between 1995 and 2002, divided into three different categories. Two categories are fixed line calls: Local calls and National and International calls and the third category is all mobile calls. There are eight time points, one per year. The data on the chart ranges from 2 billion minutes (mobile calls in 1995) to 90 billion minutes (local fixed line calls in 1999).

~~It is clear that~~ ("Clear, obvious, evident and apparent" are opinion words. Do not write opinions in Task 1. In task 2, you might be asked to write your opinion.) the local line category was mostly (wrong usage) used , while the minutes spent on mobile call (wrong form) was lowest . Additionally , the mobile line and national and international line category had an ~~experienced~~ ~~the~~ (Do not use the verbs "see," "witness" or "experience" in task 1. Use these verbs in task 2.) upward trend during the ~~research~~ (wrong word. The instructions do not say that the data was from a research project.) period.

In 1995, the local line category was highest , at more than 70 billion minutes , while the values ~~figure~~ for national and international line were ~~was~~ lower , at 38 billion minutes.About 2 billion minutes were made from mobiles line . (wrong forms, spacing mistake) From 1995 to 1999 , there were dramatic increase to 90 billion minutes , 50 billion minutes and 12 billion minutes in the number of local call, national& international call and mobile phone call.

In 2002 , there was a slight drop to 72 billion minutes in using local call . By constrast , the number of minutes (in billion) of national& international call and mobile phone call rose to 60 billion minutes and 45 billion minutes respectively.

Ielts writing task 1 correction

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