[IELTS writing task 1 - BAR CHART] please review the essay for me

Question

Hello,Please help me by review the IELTS writing task 1 essay which describes a bar chart.Thanks a lot!

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The bar chart demonstrates that over the past 150 years, 1850-2000, the percentage of adults living alone in the USA has risen by a factor of three or more; the amount depending on the age group. Data is shown for five age groups, ranging from 17 to 64 at 50-year intervals. Children and people older than 64 are not considered, and there is no distinction by gender.

Overall, the increase

Overall, the increase is dramatic, especially for the oldest group, of which 17% (the highest percentage on the chart) live alone in the last year shown as compared with 3% in 1850. No data is shown for the two youngest groups, 17-26 and 27-36 in the earliest year, 1850. Data for the youngest age group is also missing from the 1900 data set.

In the first 50 years, the increases were minimal, with percentages standing below 4% for all age groups. The oldest age group, 55-64, however, consistently had the highest value in each set. From 1900 to 1950, it nearly tripled from 3.5 to 9 percent, doubling again to 17% for 2000. The largest rise for the other age groups came between 1950 and 2000. The values ranged from 2 to 3% in 1950 and from 5 to 13% in 2000. There was a positive correlation with age; the older the age group, the higher the percentage who lived alone. But there was one exception in 2000, where 8% of the 27-36 year olds lived alone and 7% of the next older group lived alone.

Nct · Answer

I'm terribly sorry, I totally forgot pasting may essay below the question

Following is my essay:

The bar graph compares the proportion of people who lived alone in five age groups ranging from 17 to 64 in the USA from 1850 to 2000.

Overall, the percentages of individuals living alone in five age groups increased during the period. Also, the 55-64 age group accounted for higher proportion than other groups in each year.

In 1850 and 1900, no data is shown for the youngest group, but it accounted for 2% in 1950, then nearly tripled to around 5% in 2000. Similarly, no data is shown for the 27-36 age group lived alone in 1850, but those of 1900 and 1950 were about 2.5%, which roughly tripled (8%) in 2000.

The percentages of the 37-46 age group were approximately equal in 1850, 1900 and 1950, with roughly 2.6%, but it rose up to about 7% in 2000. Those of the 47-54 age group were also increased gradually from 2.5% to about 3.1% between 1850 and 1950, then climbed up to 13% in 2000. The elderly group increased steadily from 3% to 17% during the period.

[IELTS writing task 1 - BAR CHART] please review the essay for me

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