[IELTS Writing Task 1] Bar chart - Help me correct this please!

The bar charts explain for education of people from five contrasting generations and the quantity of backup they had from the bosses.

Overall, the most significant differences in rates between two purposes are in the youngest and oldest ages. The help received from the employers decrease gradually as students get nearer the middle age.

Before 39, people learn in the view of work rather than interest, with its highest percentage of 80%. Hobby and profession have the same rate of 40% in 40-49 age group. The proportion of interst aim outraces that of employment one, reaching a high of 70%.

The company’s support experiences a moderate fluctuation throughout a human’s life. Over that time, the maximum figure of over 60% is in the first decade of life, while the 30-39 age group has the lowest one of just above 30%.