IELTS writing task 1: Adult education.

Question

The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.

The charts illustrate information about adult education. The bar chart describes the motives of adults to pursue scholarship. The pie chart provides data on people’s opinion about how the fee of education should be paid.

In general, most students choose to study because of their personal interest and they should be supported in paying educational fee.

It can be seen from the bar graph, 40% of students decide to learn because they are fond of the subject. The following reason is achieving certificates with 38%. In addition, the least popular reasons are socializing and shifting jobs accounting for 9% and 12% respectively. Data for other motives such as obtaining promotion, being better at current job and finding the joy in learning is approximately 20%.

As can be withdrawn from the pie chart, public believe that scholars only ought to be responsible for less than 50% of the cost, whereas taxpayer and employer should share the expense, with 25% for the former and 35% for the later.

Nel0506 · Accepted Answer

ngothanhnam2211
The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.

1 The charts illustrate information about adult education. The bar chart describes the motives of adults to pursue *scholarship (studies). The pie chart provides data on people’s opinion about how the fee *of (for the) education should be paid.
(I would combine 2 and 4 as the last paragraph)

2 In general, most students choose to study because of their personal interest and they should be supported in paying educational fee.

3 It can be seen from the bar graph (that) (40) students decide(d) to learn because they are fond of the subject(,while the) following reason (given was) achieving certificates with (38). In (contrast), the least popular reasons are socializing and shifting jobs(,) accounting for 9% and 12% respectively. Data for other motives(,) such as obtaining (a) promotion, being better at (their) current job and finding _0_joy in learning (was) approximately 20%.
--2 In general, most students choose to study because of their personal interest and (feel) they should be supported in paying educational fee.
4 As can be (drawn/concluded) from the pie chart, (the) public believe(s/d) that (students) only ought to be responsible for less than 50% of the cost, whereas taxpayer and employer should share the expense, with 25% for the former and 35% for the later.

Some quick comments.

Nel0506 · Answer

It wasn't clear to me from the chart if the numbers are total responses by participants in the survey or percentages. Maybe that was intentional.

The only concern is using the word "public" in the last paragraph if it was only a small survey. People might be a better word.

! Good use of special vocabulary.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The charts illustrate information about adult education. (That is not correct. There is no illustration, or picture. "The charts contain information gathered from a survey on adult education.")

The bar chart describes the motives of adults to pursue scholarship. (wrong synonym. A scholarship is usually an award given to a student for financial support. ) The pie chart provides data on people’s opinion about how the fee of education (wrong synonym) should be paid.

In general, most (Most means more than half. There is not one reason that was given by more than half. ) students choose to study because of their personal interest and they should be supported in paying educational fee. (wrong synonym)

It can be seen from the bar graph, (the comma is incorrect. You must have a relative pronoun here. "that") 40% (There is no indication that the numbers on the graph are percentages. You should state that this is your assumption.) of the students decide to take a class ~~learn~~ because they are fond of the subject. The following (incorrect usage. - You did not say that there was an ordering by frequency, so there is no context for "following". You can say: "next most frequent") reason is achieving certificates with 38%. In addition, (Not a very good transition phrase) the least popular reasons are socializing and shifting (Wrong word. ) jobs accounting for 9% and 12% respectively. Data for other motives such as obtaining a promotion, being better at their current job and finding the joy (wrong synonym) in learning is approximately 20%.

As can be withdrawn (wrong word) from the pie chart, public (wrong word) believe that scholars (wrong word) only ought to be responsible for less than 50% of the cost, whereas the taxpayers and employers should share the expense, with 25% for the former and 35% for the later.

Nel0506 · Answer

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IELTS writing task 1: Adult education.

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