Ielts Writing Task 1 (Academic)

Question

Please help me to check this assignment. Thank you in advance.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Answers:

The bar chart indicates the number of weekly working hours done by eight groups of occupations while the pie graph illustrates the percentages of people struggling with work-related stress in the different professions given.

In general, businessmen work the longest among the eight groups while the smallest amount of time is normally presented by lecturers. It is clear that lecturers struggle with the highest level of stress, and the lowest figure for this issue belongs to the programmers.

According to the bar chart, businessmen, movie producers, and doctors spent the biggest number of hours per week at their working areas with 70, 62 and 51 respectively. At the opposite end of the scale, lecturers work only around 25 hours. Working hours of other professionals varied in which writers, programmers, lawyers and chefs work approximately 46, 40, 35 and 32 hours per week in the name ordered.

Looking at the pie chart, the statistics showed that the professional who has the highest incidence of stress-related illnesses is lecturers at 25%. The lowest rate of stressful illness is attributed to programmers at only 5%, which is only a fifth the figure for lecturers. On the others side, movie producers, doctors, businessmen, lawyers, and chefs can be grouped into a percentage range from 8% to 18%.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Task 1 carries one third of the marks: it is important not to overrun the time allowance and thereby cramp your time available for Task 2. I would suggest you practice answering Task 1 in about 170-180 words only.

"Mean" is a useful alternative to "average".

Your introduction does not make it clear that there are eight professions, and that they are the same in both charts. Consider whether it would be helpful to the reader to list all the professions surveyed in the introduction.

"put in " could have been used with work time: hours put in by lecturers, and so on.

Where there are a number of groupings or cohorts, one approach is to put them into groups for the overview. For example: businessmen, movie producers, and doctors put in the longest hours, and lecturers, chefs, and lawyers the least. The same technique can be applied to the pie chart. This approach is slightly more comprehensive. The highest and lowest can then be detailed in later paragraphs. Another approach is to list in ascending or descending order to give some idea of relative positions.

The most common collocation is to use the verb 'show' with 'chart' . The bar chart shows that ... 'According to the bar chart' almost implies that you are questioning its accuracy.

'big' more used in informal contexts: 'spent the biggest number of hours per week at their working areas' is quite a long-winded mouthful. More concisely: averaged the longest hours, at 70, 62 and 51 respectively.

You have inconsistent tenses: 'spent' vs 'work': either is okay but be consistent.

The working hours of other professionals... Definite article needed because 'of X' restricts and specifies.

....varied with writers, programmers, lawyers and chefs working approximately 46, 40, 35 and 32 hours per week in that order.

-> the professionals who have.... Adjectives used as nouns usually become plural: other examples of this are: the unemployed, the childless, the quick and the dead.

'which is only a fifth the figure for lecturers': this is good technique, as the instructions specify 'make comparisons where relevant'.

On the other side, -> The other groups, businessmen, lawyers ,... ranged from X% to Y%. You are right to deal with the detail in groups for this number of results. The marking scheme requires you to select information appropriately and this has been done.

I would expect a good score for this Task - if, and it is a big if, you can write as well as this under exam pressure.

Ielts Writing Task 1 (Academic)

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