IELTS Writing Task 1

Question

The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonlypurchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014.The line graph compares the sales of the three most popular goods in a bakery in 2014.Overall, the sales of bread in December was exactly the same as that in January. While pies sales declined and buns sales had an upward trend.In January, the sales of bread was $80000, which was double the sales of buns and 8 times higher than that of pies. However, this number dropped considerably to around $45000 in March. From then, bread sales fluctuated between $45000 and $65000 but still remained lower than buns sales until September, when it climbed back and finished at the same amount as January.The sales of buns was $40000 at the beginning of the year. This figure rose significantly to $70000 in May and remained the same until August, after which it fell to only $30000 in December. Meanwhile, the sales of pies was the lowest for most of the times during the period. It started at $10000 in January and increased slightly to reach $20000 in August. Sales then doubled to $40000 and became higher than buns sales in December.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The line graph compares the monthly sales of the three most popular goods, bread, buns and pies, in a bakery in 2014.

Overall, the sales of bread in December was exactly the same as that in January. (That is not a "main feature". It is a rather trivial detail. Put only the most important features in this paragraph.) While pies sales declined and buns sales had an upward trend.

(That is a fragment, a dependent clause. It is not a sentence.)

In January, the sales of bread was $80000, which was double the sales of buns and 8 times higher than that of pies. However, ~~this number~~ it dropped ~~considerably~~ to around $45000 in March. From then, bread sales ~~fluctuated~~ varied between $45000 and $65000 but still remained lower than ~~buns~~ bun sales until September, when it climbed back and finished at the same amount as January.

The sales of buns was $40000 at the beginning of the year. ~~This figure~~ It rose ~~significantly~~ to $70000 in May and remained the same until August, after which it fell to ~~only~~ $30000 in December. Meanwhile, the sales of pies was the lowest for most of the ~~times~~ months during the period. It started at $10000 in January and increased slightly to reach $20000 in August. Sales then doubled to $40000 and became higher than buns ~~sales~~ in December.

Sample essay:

The graph compares the revenue from the three most popular items, bread, buns and pies, in a bakery for each month in 2014.

Overall, bread generated the highest sales in the late fall and winter months, and buns outsold bread in the other months. Except for December, the smallest income came from pie sales. The highest combined revenue came in June and December.

In detail, the total monthly revenue varied between $110,000 and $150,000. The most steady income came from pie sales, which started out at $10,000 in January, rose gradually to $20,000 for August-October, and then doubled again to $40,000 in December. Of the three, bread was extremely variable and unpredictable, jumping erratically between $80,000 (January and December) and about half that in May, July and September. Nevertheless, it exceeded bun sales in January-February and October-December. Bun sales started at $40,000 in January, and increased, surpassing bread in March as it reached a broad peak from May to August at $70,000. It fell below bread at $45,000 in October and was $10,000 below pies in December.

IELTS Writing Task 1

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