IELTS writing task 1

Question

The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

Answer

The three pie charts illustrate that Australian people finishing secondary school stick to further education, get employed or unemployed.

Overall, look by 3 periods from 1980-2000, the percentage of the unemployed were the smallest; however, the majority portion belonged to the employed.

First of all, the rate of further education were respectively noticeable. From 1990, the number had a fall to 12% after a decade and still going down a little bit of 1%, remained 37% in 2000.

In contrast, the sign of increasing came from the employed beginning at 40%. In 1990, the ratio made up a half until 2000, the number of people getting a job amounted to 55% which were more 5% than it had been.

Sadly, the portion of personals who were jobless had risen 2% from a tenth in 1990, but till 2000, it strongly fell to remain 8%, that means a fall of 4% leading to a range of the employed increased

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please attach an image of what you are writing about.

Si

Since you provided a link to your writing as your posted it on another website, I found the infographic and inserted it here. Next time, please add it with your task 1 essay.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The three pie charts illustrate (wrong word. Read my Task 1 advice for the verbs to use with graphs and charts.) that Australian people finishing secondary school stick to (wrong verb.) further education, get employed or unemployed.

Suggested opening:

The three pie ch

Suggested opening:

The three pie charts, labelled 1980, 1990 and 2000, plot the employment status of Australian youth just after graduating high school. There are three categories: employed, going to university or college, or unemployed.

Overall, look by 3 periods from 1980-2000, (Wrong usage. 1980-2000 is one period, not three periods. A period is a span of time. "Period" is not the right word for this essay. "Look" is the wrong verb form. Look is the imperative, so "Look by 3 periods" is a sentence. Also, write out small numbers that are not data values.) the percentage of the unemployed were (subject/verb mismatch) the smallest; however, the majority were ~~portion belonged to the~~ employed.

Suggested "overall." Pick out two or three most important observations. Here are three statements:

Overall, a small minority (12% or less) were unemployed in these three years. There was a trend for a larger proportion to get a job after graduation as opposed to pursuing higher education. In 2000, a clear majority were in the workforce.

First of all, the rate (wrong word. Read my vocabulary advice, which covers the misuse of the word "rate") of further education were respectively (Wrong usage. ) noticeable. From 1990, the number (Wrong word. There are no numbers in the graphic, only percentages. ) had a fall to 12% after a decade and still going down (You cannot use the progressive form here. Use the progressive for line graphs.) a little bit of 1%, (a little bit of 1% may be a tenth of one percent.) remained 37% in 2000.

In contrast, the sign of increasing (I do not understand this.) came from the employed beginning at 40%. In 1990, the ratio made up a half until 2000, (You cannot use such words because you have no information between these snapshots in time.) the number of people getting a job (Wrong word. There are no numbers in the graphic, only percentages. ) amounted to 55% which were more 5% (ungrammatical word order) than it had been.

Sadly, (You are making an opinion here. Do not write opinions in Task 1. You may be asked for an opinion in Task 2.) the portion of personals (Wrong word. ) who were jobless had risen 2% from a tenth in 1990, but till 2000, it strongly fell to remain 8%, that means a fall of 4% leading to a range of the employed increased

IELTS writing task 1

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