Ielts writing task 1

I hope that you can read my essay and correct it. Thank you very much.

A glance at the graph provided reveals the differences in the figures of the birth rates from 1920 to 2000 in 2 selected countries: China and USA.

As far as the Birth rates of China is concerned, it experienced a marginal decline to 5 percent from 1920 to 1940. This was followed by a stability in 5 years. the following 5 years saw a drastic escalation to 20 percent. A sharp plunge trend to about 3 percent was recorded from 1950 to 2000.

With regards to the amount of the birth rate of USA, it began at around 12 percent. The following 20 years saw a fluctuation and then it witnessed a sharp decline to 4 percent in 1945. Inspite of a drastic plunge, a marginal escalation to 15 percent was recorded inn 5 years. Apart from the upward trend, it underwent dramatic decline from 1950 to 2000.

It is interesting to note that while the birth rates of both countries were comparable until 1950, and the trend of the figure is similar, the gap between the two widened after this time.