Ielts writing task 1

Question

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.  The three pie charts illustrate the distribution of residents along with the global expenses and the resource consumption around the world, proportionally.Roughly speaking, people seem to spend most of their income on food. Moreover, while the figures for people in America and Europe are just about a quarter of the world population, these areas consume more than half of the worldwide resouces.The percentage of American and European population is quite low and both of them perfectly equal at 14%, but their consumption of resouces is nearly two thirds, worldwide. In constrast, Aisa has the highest proportion of residents at 57%, while its resource consumption including 15% of the people in Africa and other areas is just a little bit more than a third of global consumption.When it comes to world expenses, people spend most of their income, at 24%, on food but only 6% on clothing. In housing, transport and others, the percentage of world spending on each categories is 12%, 18% and 40% respectively.

Nina Nguyen · Accepted Answer

Please check this writing task 1 for me

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote less than 130 words. The minimum is 150 words. Your score will be decreased for that reason.

The three pie charts illustrate the distribution of residents (wrong word) along with the global expenses (wrong word) and the resource consumption around the world, proportionally.

That is not a good opening paragraph. It does not tell the reader anything about the categories on the pie charts. It does not tell the reader what is on each pie chart. Explain what is on each chart, but do not mention any data values. You will need several sentences to do this.

Model:

The three pie charts give information about the world's people, their spending, and resource consumption. In particular, the first chart breaks down the total global spending into four main categories, (food, clothing, housing and transportation) and a fifth category for everything else. The second chart shows where people live, by percentage, in four continental areas (Europe, Americas, Africa and Asia) with a fifth category for the rest of the world. Finally, the third chart divides resource consumption into two categories, the combination of the USA and Europe, and the rest of the world.

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays: IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Roughly speaking, people seem (It is incorrect to use "seem" with factual information.) to spend most of their income on food. Moreover, while the figures (wrong word) for people in America and Europe are just about a quarter (Incorrect. "Americas" includes South America with the very populous country Brazil, and Central America with Mexico, and Canada in North America.. The USA population is only about one third of the Americas. So the USA+Europe is 14% + 5% = about 20%. or one fifth. ) of the world population, (comma splice error. Ungrammatical sentence) these areas consume more than half (Be precise. Write the number that is on the chart.) of the worldwide resouces.

The percentage of American and European population is quite low and both of them perfectly equal at 14%, but their consumption of resouces is nearly two thirds, (incorrect) worldwide. In constrast, Aisa has the highest proportion of residents at 57%, while its resource consumption including 15% of the people in Africa (wrong expression. 15% of the people in Africa = If there are a million people in Africa, this would be 150,000. ) and other areas is just a little bit more than a third (imprecise. You should write 40%) of global consumption.

Ielts writing task 1

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