IELTS Writing Task 1

Question

Can you check it for me, please? Thank you very much.

The table indicates the consequences of a survey of the average quantity of automobiles per hour using three suburban roads throughout operating hours in a ten-year from 1993 to 2000 in a pollution monitoring program.

Overall, it is obvious that there was an upward trend over the period.

As can be seen from the table, the number of vehicles in Harper Lane stood at 82 in 1993, which increased dramatically in (600) Great York Way and (400) Long Lane respectively. During which the number increased 400 cars from 1993 to 1400 cars in 2001. Great York Way saw barely any increase in traffic, increasing from an hourly rate of 600 vehicles to around 700. The traffic traveling down Long Lane increased by 75% in the same period, from 400 to 700 vehicles. However, the number was stable during the following year at 1400 cars.

After the traffic calming was introduced in Harper Lane at the beginning of 1999, the volume of traffic fell dramatically to an hourly average of 204 cars, considerably fewer than in 1998. Therefore, the number of cars stabilized at just below the 1999 level and Long Lane witnessed a significant increase in vehicle numbers with the hourly average soaring to 1,400 in 2002.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You need to write very carefully and precisely in Task 1. You have made many careless mistakes. Also, use math/science vocabulary words. These words are objective, neutral and dispassionate. Words like "soar", "dramatic", "see", and "witness" are not appropriate math / science vocabulary words. They are good for Task 2, an argumentative essay, but not for Task 1.

The table

The table indicates (not a good word) the consequences (That is not correct. There are no side effects of the survey.) of a survey of the average quantity (wrong word) of automobiles per hour using three suburban roads throughout operating (wrong words) hours in a ten-year (Missing word) from 1993 to 2000 (wrong year) in a pollution monitoring program. (Your first paragraph is incomplete. It does not give the reader all the necessary information about this table.)

Overall, ~~it is obvious that~~ (Words like "clear", "obvious", "observable" and "evident" are opinion words. Do not write opinions or conclusions in Task 1.) there was an upward trend over the period.

~~As can be seen from the table,~~ (Unnecessary verbiage. The reader know you are looking at the table. Just describe the data.) the number of vehicles (That is not what is in the table. Are 82 vehicles parked there?) in Harper Lane stood at 82 in 1993, which increased dramatically (wrong words. Harper Lane traffic did not increase to a number in a different location. ) in (600) Great York Way and (400) Long Lane respectively. During which (? What does "which" refer to?) the number increased from 400 cars per hour in ~~from~~ 1993 to 1400 ~~cars~~ in 2001. Great York Way saw (Do not use anthropomorphic verbs "see", "witness" or "experience" in Task 1. These are inappropriate for math or science writing. Roads do not see. They have no power of vision.) barely any increase in traffic, increasing from an hourly rate of 600 vehicles to around 700. The traffic traveling down Long Lane increased by 75% in the same period, from 400 to 700 vehicles per hour. However, the number was the same ~~stable~~ during the following year at 1400 cars. (?? 1400 is not the same as 700. The reader is very confused.)

After the traffic calming was introduced in Harper Lane at the beginning of 1999, the volume of traffic fell ~~dramatically~~ (That word is descriptive, but not what a maths professor expects.) to an hourly average of 204 cars, considerably fewer (wrong word. Volume is non-count, and "less" is used for count nouns.) than in 1998. Therefore, the number of cars (incorrect) stabilized at just below the 1999 level and Long Lane witnessed a significant increase in vehicle numbers (wrong phrase) with the hourly average soaring (Do not use emotive words in Math/Science text.) to 1,400 in 2002.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Model essay:

Paragraph 1: Describe the figure or figures, but not the data.

The table presents the average volume of traffic on three suburban streets, Harper Lane, Great York Way, and Long Lane for each year in the period 1993 to 2002. The data came from a survey in which the number of cars per hour on these roads were tallied, and an annual average was computed. This was part of a pollution monitoring programme in which traffic-calming humps (synonyms: sleeping policemen / road humps ) were installed on one of the roads, Harper Lane, in 1999.

Paragraph 2: Describe two or three important observations:

Traffic increased on every one of the roads in the survey over the period, particularly on Great York Way, where it more than tripled. Harper Lane was the least heavily travelled road throughout the period, except in the two years just prior to the construction of traffic-calming measures (1997-8). The traffic in the year of construction, 1999, was a quarter of what it was in the prior year.

Paragraph 3: Describe interesting details

In the two-year period noted before, 1998-9, traffic increased by 45% on Great York Way (695 to 711 cars/hour), and about the same percentage on Long Lane. (700 to 1000), while it dropped by more than 75% on Harper Lane (915 to 204). The decline in Harper Lane traffic continued from 2000-2002, but it still ended up at 193, more than double that of the first year (1993), when it was 82. In 1993, the most heavily travelled road was Great York Way (600 cars/hour), but this changed to Long Lane in the last year of the survey (1400 cars/hour).

Note: This model essay is much longer than the minimum length (150 word), but it will give you examples of vocabulary and sentence structure for math/science essays.

IELTS Writing Task 1

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