IELTS WRITING TASK 1.

Question

Hi, this is my essay for ielts writing task 1. Could you please check it for me? Thanks a lot, I appreciate your help.

The chart illustrates how many trips to other regions by UK citizens for different purposes from 1989 to 2001.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that the total number of trips increased over this period and travelling for holiday took the most of the trips to other countries.

There was a significant rise in the total number of trips over a thirteen-year period. The figure increased from 47 millions of trips in 1989 to 68 millions of trips in 1995. Then, it reached a peak of 73,5 millions of trips in 1998. After that, the figure decreased slightly to 61 millions of trips in 2001.

There was a dramatic increase in the number of trips whose purposes were holidays, rose from 30 millions of trips to around 40 millions trips in 2001. People travelled for family visits also grew significantly, jumped by about 7 millions of trips over the period. Business purpose remained the same at approximately 9 millions of trips while other purposes decreased from about 4 millions of trips in 1989 to 1 million of trips in 2001.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

I cannot help you because I can't see any chart. Upload an image.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The chart (wrong word. This is not a pie chart. It is not a bar chart. It is not an Eye chart. There are two figures. You did not tell the reader this.) illustrates (wrong word. It is not an illustration. -shows / plots ) how many trips to other regions (wrong word. A region might be the lake district north of London. That is a region, not a country.) by UK citizens (wrong word. A citizen has a passport for the UK. A resident might be a person who has a French passport but is living in the UK.) for different purposes from 1989 to 2001. (Incomplete. You did not tell the reader what categories are plotted. In Task 1, which is a maths/ science exercise, meanings of words are very exact and precise. If you use different words, you might be misleading the reader. )

Overall, ~~it can be clearly seen that~~ (Words like "clear", "evident", "apparent" and "obvious" are opinion words. Do not write opinions in Task 1. Just describe the information.) the total number of trips increased over this period and travelling for holiday ~~took the most of the trips~~ was the most common purpose for these trips to other countries.

There was a significant rise in the total number of trips over a (wrong word. ) thirteen-year period. (You repeated what you said before. Avoid repetition.) The number ~~figure~~ increased from 47 millions (wrong form) of trips in 1989 to 68 millions of trips in 1995. Then, it reached a peak of 73,5 millions of trips in 1998. After that, it the figure decreased slightly to 61 millions of trips in 2001.

There was a dramatic increase in the number of trips whose purposes were holidays, (comma splice error.) rose from 30 millions of trips to around 40 millions trips in 2001. People travelled (wrong form) for family visits also grew significantly, jumped (wrong form) by about 7 millions of trips over the period. Business travel ~~purpose~~ remained the same at approximately 9 millions of trips while other purposes decreased from about 4 millions of trips in 1989 to 1 million of trips in 2001.

IELTS WRITING TASK 1.

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