IELTS Writing Task 1

Can you check it for me, please! Thank you so much I really appreciate your help.

Topic: The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries.

The given bar chart illustrates the number of three main problems of people who live in other countries and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.
The biggest problem for the middle age group (35-54) and the older group (over 55) is sorting out healthcare, accounting for the highest proportion of nearly 37% and just over 35%, respectively.

The second biggest problem is the percentage of adults aged 55 and over who deal with language learning difficulty is nearly 54% which is the highest proportion in the chart, whereas in the age group of 18-34, it is approximately 29%.

In contrast, finding a school for children becomes the biggest issue of the middle age group with nearly 19%, meanwhile, the older age group holds the least with only a minor of 2%. Also, just over 5% of the same issue is covered by the young group.
In general, learning the local language is the most significant problem that the oldest age group has. Otherwise, young adults find it difficult to make friends and find accommodation.