IELTS Writing Task 1

Question

Can you check for me, please! Thank you very much.

The illustrations given relate to housing costs and accommodation status in Britain. The bar chart has a 25-year range in 5 yearly increments from 1980; the pie chart provides the information about the proportion between owners, people renting and those with the second houses.
Overall, what stands out from the chart is that the figure for the average price of houses decreased yearly over 25 years. While the amount of money for a house from nearly 25,000 to above 30,000 in 1985 which was followed by an increase sharply by under 25,000 in 1990.
Meanwhile, the figure for renting ranked the greatest percent between 1985 and 1995 with 59% down to 44% by 2005. On the other hand, the percentage of owners grew gradually from 34% to 37% in 1995 and 53% in 2005. Although it slightly increases between 1995 and 2000, the percentage of houses as second homes fell sharply by 7% in 2005.

Thanh Hải Nguyễn 5731 · Accepted Answer

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The illustrations given relate to housing costs and accommodation status in Britain. (the UK) The bar chart has a 25-year range in 5 yearly increments from 1980; (But what is on the bar chart?) the pie chart provides the information about the proportion between owners, people renting and those with ~~the~~ second houses.

Overall, what stands out from the chart is that the ~~figure for the~~ average price of houses decreased (incorrect) yearly over 25 years. While the amount of money for a house from nearly 25,000 to above 30,000 (Dollars? Actually 45,000 is above 30,000. And so is 600,000 or a billion. "Above 30,000 does not tell the reader very much.) in 1985 which was followed by an increase sharply by under 25,000 ("Under 25,000" - 5 is under 25,00 and so is 24,500. "Under 25,000 does not tell the reader very much.) in 1990. (This is completely wrong.)

~~Meanwhile,~~ the ~~figure for renting ranked the greatest percent~~ The percentage of renters was higher than the combination of the two categories of home ownership in ~~between~~ 1985 and 1995, at 59% and 54% respectively. But is decreased ~~with 59% down~~ to 44% by 2005. On the other hand, the percentage of owners (There are two categories of owners. Which one are you talking about?) grew gradually (How do you know it was gradual? There is no data for the years in between.) from 34% to 37% in 1995 and 53% in 2005. Although it slightly increases between 1995 and 2000, the percentage of owners of ~~houses as~~ second homes fell sharply by 7% in 2005. (How do you know that the decrease happened in the year 2005? It might have decreased in 2004 or 2003.)

Model essay:

The two figures, a bar chart and a set of three pie charts, give information related to housing costs and accommodation status in the UK between the years 1980 and 2005. The bar chart plots the average home price every five years in British pounds. The pie charts break down the accommodation status by the percentage of families in each of three categories: those who rent, those who own their own residence, and those who also own a second home. The data in the pie charts is from 1985, 1995 and 2005.

Overall, the housing prices increased exponentially over the 25-year period, from about 20,000 pounds in 1980 to about 195,000 pounds in 2005, an increase of almost a factor of ten. Nonetheless, the pie charts show an increase in home ownership, from 41% in 1985 to 56% in 2005. However, within this sector the percent of those who owned a second home decreased by half, from 7% to 3%.

I used "exponentially" because the data on the bar chart looks most like an exponential curve:

IELTS Writing Task 1

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