IELTS writing task 1

Question

The chart below shows the percentage of difference in income between men and women from 1978 to 2008 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1afCBZMxeZ66sf_6Gjw8sMZAeQUM1pBNG/view?usp=sharingThe line chart indicates the data on the percentage of the difference about the money earned between man and woman over the 30 year period.Overall, there was a general trend, it’s a decrease in the variance of the income between man and woman in all countries mentioned except for Australia. Besides that, the percentage in Japan is always the highest figure from 1978 to 2008.In the United States and the United Kingdom, the difference of the earnings between both sexes is quite similar with a slow reduction from 30% in 1978 at approximately 27% in 2008 although the United States stayed at a little higher level when compared with the UK. France also witnessed a gradual decline between 1978 and 2008 with the number is around below 20%.In comparing with France, the percentage of Australia is quite similar from  1978 to 1998. But by the year 2008, it had increased rapidly by 25%. Japanese is always the highest percentage in the injustice of income between man and woman, at closely 50% in 1978 then go down to about 40% in 2008. 167 words -

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The line chart (It is not a chart. ) indicates the data on the percentage ~~of the~~ difference about the money earned between man and woman over ~~the~~ a 30 year period.

(Not a good sentence. Here is a model sentence: The line graph plots the percentage difference between men's and women's incomes for five countries, US, Japan, Australia, the UK and France, from 1978 to 2008.)

Overall, there was a general trend, (Wrong punctuation) it’s (Don't use contractions.) a decrease in the variance (wrong word) of the income between man and woman (You must use the plural forms here. It is not the difference between one particular woman and one particular man, but all men and all women.) in all countries mentioned (You never mentioned any country.) except for Australia. Besides that, the percentage difference in Japan is always the highest ~~figure from 1978 to 2008~~.

In the United States and the United Kingdom, the difference of the earnings between the ~~both~~ sexes is quite similar with a slow reduction from 30% in 1978 at approximately 27% in 2008 although the values in the United States stayed at a little higher level when compared with the UK. In France there was also ~~witnessed~~ a gradual decline between 1978 and 2008 with the number is around below 20%. (A clause cannot be used as the complement of a preposition.)

In comparing with France, the percentage of Australia (??) is quite similar from 1978 to 1998. But by the year 2008, it had increased rapidly by 25%. Japanese is always the highest percentage in the injustice (wrong word) of income between man and woman, at closely 50% in 1978 then go down to about 40% in 2008.

Thảo Quỳnh Nguyễn · Answer

This is my edited essay. I hope it'll be better.

The line graph illustrates the percentage difference between men's and women's incomes for five countries, the US, Japan, Australia, the UK and France, from 1978 to 2008.

Overall, there was a general trend that was a decrease in the difference of the income between men and women in all countries except for Australia. Besides that, the percentage difference in Japan is always the highest.

In the United States and the United Kingdom, the difference of the earnings between both sexes is quite similar with a slow reduction from 30% in 1978 to approximately 27% in 2008 although the values in the United States stayed at a little higher level when compared with the UK. In France, there was a gradual decline between 1978 and 2008 with the number around 20.

In comparing with France, the qualities of Australia is quite similar from 1978 to 1998. But by the year 2008, it had increased rapidly by 25%. Japanese is always the highest percentage in the difference of income between men and women, at close 50% in 1978 then went down to about 40% in 2008.

IELTS writing task 1

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