IELTS Writing Task 1
Can you please check my work, and if possible, give it a band score ? Thank you in advance
The pie charts show contrast between San Diego County, California and the rest of the world in terms of water consumed for residential, industrial and agricultural purposes.
Overall, more water is used by homes and industry than by agriculture in two American areas. In contrast, a majority of water are spent on agriculture worldwide
Turning to the details, residential water usage in San Diego County and California takes up 60% and 39% of the total consumption, while this figure is only 8% for the rest of the world. However, agriculture accounts for up to 69% of global water use, whereas only 17% and 28% of overall water usage of San Diego County and California is for this field.
On the other side, the figures for industrial water usage don't vary much between these two regions and the world. While San Diego County and the rest of the world share a 23% industrial water consumption, the figure for California is moderately higher, at 33%
Top answer
The pie charts show (Missing word) contrast between San Diego County, California (wrong phrase order) and the rest of the world in terms of water consumed for residential, industrial and agricultural purposes. Overall, more water is used by homes and industry than by agriculture in (Missing word) two American areas. In contrast, a (wrong word) majority of water (Missing word) are spent on (wrong usage.
- The pie charts show (Missing word) contrast between San Diego County, California (wrong phrase order) and the rest of the world in terms of water consumed for residential, industrial and agricultural purposes.
- Overall, more water is used by homes and industry than by agriculture in (Missing word) two American areas.
- In contrast, a (wrong word) majority of water (Missing word) are spent on (wrong usage.
- ) agriculture worldwide (Missing punctuation) Turning to the details, residential water usage in San Diego County and the state of California takes up 60% and 39% of the total consumption, while this figure is only 8% for the rest of the world.
- However, agriculture accounts for up to 69% of global water use, whereas only 17% and 28% of overall water usage of San Diego County and California is for this field .
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The pie charts show (Missing word) contrast between San Diego County, California (wrong phrase order) and the rest of the world in terms of water consumed for residential, industrial and agricultural purposes.
Overall, more water is used by homes and industry than by agriculture in (Missing word) two American areas. In
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