IELTS Writing Task 1

Hello, I'm preparing myself for the IELTS test in about 2 months. Could you please check this essay for me? Thank you so much.

This is the chart: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IZRiMj8VDSeAPB8EgNiLUZtLg0EjfQTp/view?usp=sharing

My writing:

The bar chart illustrates how men and women used their cars for in 2005.

Overall, both two genders’ car trips were used for work the most. While men surpassed women in the number of driving for work, visiting town and recreation, women used cars much more when it comes to courses, bank, running errands and shopping.

The percentage of car trips used for work in men and women was highest among purposes, with nearly 40% by women and about 50% by men. Men also drove more to visit town, with roughly 10% of car trips, about three times higher than women. Driving for entertainment was also more popular with men than women, although it just occupied for above 10% of car driving.

Courses, bank, visiting friends, shopping and other errands were the category which women used cars a lot more than the other gender. For example, car trips for shopping accounted for just below 20% in women, nearly double than that in men. However, except for work, all other reasons for using cars in women were below 20%.