IELTS Writing Task 1
Please help me to correct this essay. Because this is for the IELTS Writing Task 1 so please correct for me in grammar, vocab, sentence and paragraph structures, coherence, cohesion,... Thank you!
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The table shows the number of people who visited twelve paid-admission attractions in the UK between 1999 and 2000.
It is clear that London is the city where has the greatest number of most visited attractions. In general, two among twelve attractions experienced an increase in visitors from 1999 and 2000. Besides, two attractions had just opened in 2000 had the most visitors compared to others.
In 1999, the most visited attraction is Alton Towers with 2,650,000 tourists. However, this first place was replaced by a newly opened attraction in 2000 which is Millenium Dome with over six million estimated visitors. Another attraction was also opened in 2000 is British Airways London Eye which had more than three million visitors. By contrast, the Canterbury Cathedral saw a moderate decrease in the number of tourists from over 1.3 million to around 1.26 million and became the least visited place in the year 2000.
The percentage of people who visited the Flamingo Land Theme Park and Zoo rose sharply at 8.7%, this attraction was the least visited place in 1999. The proportion of visitors to Victoria and Albert Museum climbed at 7.4% in 2000 compared with the previous year.
Top answer
It would be good for each paragraph to have an introductory phrase or sentence telling the reader what kind of detail to expect. That improves the cohesion of the essay. The highlighted text has mistakes.
- It would be good for each paragraph to have an introductory phrase or sentence telling the reader what kind of detail to expect.
- That improves the cohesion of the essay.
- The highlighted text has mistakes.
- The table shows the number of people who visited twelve paid-admission attractions in the UK between (wrong preposition) 1999 and 2000.
- It is clear that London is the city where (wrong relative pronoun) has the greatest number of mos t v isited attractions.
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It would be good for each paragraph to have an introductory phrase or sentence telling the reader what kind of detail to expect. That improves the cohesion of the essay. The highlighted text has mistakes.
The table shows the number of people who visited twelve paid-admission attractions in the UK between (wrong preposition)
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