Ielts writing - please check for me - thanks!!!

Topic:

International community must act immediately to ensure all nations to reduce their consumption of fossil fuels, e.g. gas and oil.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?

My writing:

There is a growing controversy that human as a whole should hold accountable for cutting down on fossil fuels use. It is agreed that the dependence on fossil fuels must be reduced with the immediate effort of all nations. This essay will first discuss the exhausted nature of fossil fuels and then show the link between fossil fuels use and environmental degradation.

The reliance on fossil fuel, as a nonrenewable source, leads to unsustainable development. In the industrialization era, all countries use an enormous amount of fossil fuels for heavy industries, factories and vehicles without the awareness of the incoming threat of energy shortage. For example, if the limited source of oil hit the low, all the industries that depend on it will cease, people will lose their jobs, and social unrest is predictable. The scenario can only change if we start using alternative renewable energy sources.

The mass consumption of fossil fuels is a major cause of global warming. The emission from using this energy source includes carbon dioxide, which result in ozone layer depletion and the green house effect that is threatening our survival on Earth. When one person does not reduce the use of gas as a heating energy, he or she is continuously contributing to the warming up of the globe, the rise of sea level and refugee crisis. But if we switch to solar energy, for instant, we can alleviate the environmental problems.

In conclusion, cutting down on the use of fossil fuels is the urgent mission of all human on the globe in order to achieve sustainable development and to fight environmental degradation. It is predicted that with the evolution of energy sources, people are taking major steps in reducing and eventually replace fossil fuels by other alternative energy sources.