IELTS WRITING FEMALE DELINQUENTS

I need your comments about this because I want to improve my writing skill.

Some reports have discovered the incidence of violence/crimes committed by young women is increasing. Give possible reasons and recommendations to the situation.

In recent years, more and more female teenagers reportedly commit crimes due to a lot of social factors. This can be mainly caused by two popular reasons and various actions should be taken by the government and parents to tackle such issue.

This phenomenon can be explained by excessive peer pressure and soon approach to bad contents on the Internet. Basically, women seem to be inferior to men in terms of strength and mental stability. They have to seriously compete for places in university and job with their male counterparts. Seemingly, there exists sex discrimination in some workplace, which makes females really stressed. In this case, women would resort to violence because it might be the only way to release their strains. Furthermore, the abundance of violent and aggressive contents on the Internet has been considered to be the main culprit contributing to this issue. To be clearer, female juveniles will probably realize the attractiveness of those fierce and brutal actions so they will imitate them to feel more controlled.

There have been several measures that government and parents can do to prevent female delinquency. First, the government should carefully censor and filter out online contents to prevent the appearance of bad and ferocious images. To create safe and educational cyber environment, the authorities can replace those bad things with useful knowledge and skills. In other words, it is of great importance to eliminate those things breeding future offenders. Second, parents should pay much attention to any mental abnormalities and psychological unstableness of their children so as to have timely solutions. To prevent over-stressed condition, children should be encouraged to talk their thoughts out. Besides, raising awareness of female teenagers remains the key solution to this problem.

To conclude, peer pressure and uncensored Internet might be reasons for this issue. But this problem will be effectively alleviated with combined efforts that government and parents make to create safe and educational environment.