IELTS WRITING ACADEMIC

Hi, can you take some time to read my IELTS WRITING and tell me about the mistakes i made (tenses,grammar,verb form,etc.) and show me how i can improve my writing on the topic ( my aim is 8.0 IELTS ACACDEMIC) thank you very much.

Q: In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the Internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

A:

In the past, most office worker had to travel to work. But in recent years, with the development of technologies and unexpected factor: Covid-19, most of them are now working from home and it's likely that this will continue in the future. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

Firstly, the positives. Working from home is immensely beneficial to both employers and employees because it boosts their financial status. Without the need of travelling to the office, employees are able to cuts off their spends on fuel almost entirely. Studies shown that about 10% of an average person's salary is spent on fuel, which is mostly spent travelling between the office and home. That is half of your income tax payment saved in the US and can be as much as double that mount in some countries. On the employers' side the benefits are even more astonishing. Working remotely helps them save a huge amount of money spent monthly renting office, paying electricity bills and internet services. That can be up to hundreds of thousands if not millions dollars saved for the corporation.

Now, the negatives. Working from home may lower the employees' productivities and work-effectiveness. Studies have shown that home environment reduces an employee's work-efficiency by as much as 50% due to various distractions. One can not focus entirely on their work at home like in office if they are surrounded by allurement from the TV or get distracted by how comfortable the bed is. On the company's side, its' staffs declination in productivity obviously severely affects the whole system, let alone we haven't mention some more minor problems that may occurs like the lack of communication between employees, etc.

To sum up, working from home has its advantages accompany with the disadvantages. Working remotely maybe the future as it is more economical but still need some major changes and developments as it is not the most optimal way to work on the productivity side.