0
Tunglt6596 Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

[IELTS Writing 2] Overweight

Please help me estimate the band score for this essay. I really appreciate if someone can give me some suggestions.


Topic: In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them?


In today's society, overweight has gradually become a subject of considerable concern to many people in some regions, especially in developed countries. This major issue is caused by several factors, however, there are feasible solutions to rectify the situation.
On the one hand, overweight is blamed for the result of working routines in the modern life nowadays. It is widely known that individuals that work at the office tend to become over-weighing, even obese because they have to sit in front of the computer monitor continuously on a daily basis. For example, there are many jobs that using computers is a mandatory condition such as information technology and design engineers or accountants, they have to work with software programs mostly. Their jobs may lead to overweight due to the lack of motion and movement, which can have detrimental impacts on their health. Not only that, it may be a culprit of fatal diseases including diabetes, obesity and certain cancers. In addition, popular fast food containing a high amount of fat is also attributed to one of the causes of this serious problem.
On the other hand, this issue can be solved by a few effective measures. Firstly, the government should encourage people to play sports after work or school and also exercise regularly at fitness center. For instance, companies should motivate employees to keep fit by giving coupons or free tickets for joining sports centers. If the government, businesses and local communities make more efforts in doing this, it is likely that the problem will be kept under control. Secondly, instead of eating food high in sugar and fat, residents should eat more healthy food such as fresh fruits and vegetables. Having a balanced diet may not only prevent overweight but also bring numerous benefits in terms of health for everyone. As a result, overweight as well as threatening diseases may be repelled.
In conclusion, overweight and decreasing level of health may be the result of working and eating habits with many people in today's world. But this serious problem may be prevented by several solutions associated with keeping fit and having a better diet.

  

Top answer

Please give me some suggestions!!!

  • Please give me some suggestions!!!
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

3 Answers
0

Please give me some suggestions!!!

0

Can you give me some advice for this essay? I really need your support.

Topic: In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them?

In today’s society, overweight has gradually become a subject of considerable concern to n

0

You have used the adjective "overweight" incorrectly in this essay.

e.g. Benny is not overweight. Benny's parents are overweight.
Vets are seeing more overweight dogs in their clinics.
Being overweight is the cause of heart attacks and early death in many cases.
A person is considered overweight if they weigh 10% more than is recommended.


In today’s society,

Related Questions