IELTS WRITING

Hello everyone, I am practising IELTS writing. This essay I wrote on ieltsonlinetests.com can get what band? Could you please help me to point out and correct any mistakes. Thanks alot!

Question:

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You should write at least 250 words.

My answer

In modern-day, most people take physical exercise seriously because everyone believes that it can help them keep fit and can lead to a healthy lifestyle. However, there is some argument that physical strength is more important, others think that mental strength is the key to success in sport.

On the one hand, physical strength inherent in each person. Some people have and some don't. For most famous sportsmen in the world, they seem to have physical strength when they were young and is gifted in some sports. In addition, physical strength is also the factor in helping people determine to do some sports. A person who doesn't have enough health cannot participate in some typical sports.

On the other hand, mental strength is also important when people determine to play a sport. If they like sport, they must practice it many times. In the grand competition, for example, like SEA GAME, before participating in a real match, athletes have to repeat the skill to play this sport for multiple times. Moreover, mental strength is necessary to go on playing sport. Some people often give up the sport when they too busy or are influenced by the weather condition. Doing exercise every day in order to keep health, you need to do it regularly. Therefore, you can get benefits from working out.

In conclusion, physical strength is crucial but it needs to accompany mental health. People may do a sport because they are strong enough. Yet they cannot continue if they don't own mental health.