Ielts writing

Hello everyone. My name is Linh. I come from Viet Nam- a beautiful with captivating natural scenery. I start writing IELTS essay. Plz help me check my grammar, sentence structures.

Thanks!

Topic: According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction.

How far do you agree with this opinion?

My essay:

According to a recent investigation, more and more people spend a considerable amount of time using the Internet per day. Thus, spending less time with real people. I strongly agree that although this use of the Internet has greatly increased the level of communication available, it has also had detrimental effects on the amount and type of social interaction that takes place.

First of all, it is an indisputable fact that the Internet has brought significant alters to our lives. In earlier times, communication was only possible by phone or letter, which entailed time and expense. It usually meant just keeping in connect with loved ones or someone who you know. But, thanks to the Internet, this has changed dramatically. Nowadays, a great deal of giant companies like Microsoft, Facebook,.. have created more wonderful and useful apps to revolutionize the way we communicate between people and faraway places, especially in global trade.

That said, there is no doubt in my mind that this has had negative impacts on social interaction. People, especially young generations can spend long hours at their computer terminal, chatting and making new friends. Nonetheless, not all of them has negative influence on communicating, young people should have and maintain real friendships in order to improve their own interpersonal skills. Furthermore, if people spend most of their time communicating online and do not interact with neighborhoods in their local, they can face to the risk of social isolation in the not too distant future. The worst thing can be happened that nobody takes care of you if you need them.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm that the internet has undoubtedly been beneficial, but there are good reasons to be concerned about social interaction in our societies. It is therefore important that we maintain a balance between our online life and our contact with real human beings.

Thank you!