IELTS Writing

Topic: There are many Vietnamese people who claim that we should merge the Solar New Year and the Lunar New Year. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

My passage:

The Lunar New Year is the most important holiday in Vietnam. Up to now, Vietnam still regards the Lunar New Year of the greatest events of the years. But recently, some people have an idea that we should merge the Solar New Year and the Lunar New Year. In my opinion, I disagree with that.

Merging the Solar New Year and the Lunar New Year is not feasible, which is affected to the million of Vietnamese people. In Vietnam, the Lunar New Year is the time when people can eat dinner together, and have a long time for family reunions. The number of day-off work in Lunar New Year is longer than the number of day-off work in Solar New Year.

Additionally, many people who have to work far away from their family found the Lunar New Year as an opportunity to break away from work and enjoy the time we lost in year. Therefore, Solar New Year and Lunar New Year cannot combine because it affects on the work-life balance of workers.

Another reason why two reasons shouldn't put together at the same time that they can boost the economy Some people don't have a countryside and decide not going home, which can help them raise money in Tet holiday. tet is a day when the purchasing power of the customers is the highest in a year. Before the Lunar New Year, people usually stock up on food and clothing to eat and wear in Tet, because in Tet the sellers have a day-off to back the hometown. Moreover, people usually choose the Lunar New Year to travel in another country. Therefore, merging the Solar New Year and the Lunar New Year is impossible and not apply in Vietnam.

In conclusion, merging the Solar New Year and the Lunar New Year is unnecessary, for not only the economy but also the Vietnamese people

Please help me to check my grammar, vocabulary and expression and which band score in this writing IELTS Writing? Thank you very much.