IELTS WRITING

Good morning,

My name is Ngan. I am practicing writing and aim to get 6.0 in IELTS exam next month. I am very appreciated for your correction and any suggestion for improving my essay as well as my writing. Thank you very much.

It is true that today families in different nations are spending less time together. My essay below will both analyze the reasons and the negative effects to this pressing concern.

The problem that time-saving care for their family is caused by several factors. To begin with, one of the reasons why family members no longer spend an amount of time for their loved ones is that families with two-working parents are becoming more and more prevalent. As a result, they are forced to spend a greater amount of time away from the family to fulfill work duties leading to lack of family reunion moments. Another main cause is the development of social media. In today's technology-driven world, the vast existence of many modern and fashionable gadgets, such as smartphones or laptops has diversified the way individuals enjoy the life. However, many kinds of social interaction, including face-to-face conservation with family members seem to be involuntarily replaced by text messages or phone calls. For example, families stay together in a restaurant where each member is engaged in Facebook communicating with their online friends rather than taking to their children or parents over the meal. This action contributes to exacerbating gaps between family members.

Several related problems can cause some serious consequences for individuals and their families. Initially, the lack of close contact with their family will certainly lead to less mutual understanding and less happy laughter in their home. As can be easily anticipated broken families are inevitable when parents who rarely talk to their children will sooner or later realize that they become strangers to their own kids. In addition, several mental illnesses derived from such a trend are on the crisis. The fact that children will feel much more comfortable to share and express their feelings with their loved ones, which helps alleviate their emotional distress and have a better mental health. Therefore, Those alloting less time with their family tends to bottle up their feelings, likely to result in depression or even psychosis in long term.

In conclusion, there are two main contributors to factors catalysis for this trouble and this trend has devastating effects on both individual and family.