IELTS Task2. Can You Please Review My Essay

Topic: More and more people these days work harder and longer hours and have no time for family life and friends. What are the causes in your opinion for this? how is it affecting family life and the society as a whole?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Young people in modern days tend to spend almost their time at work rather than sparing time with their family and friends. This increasing trend has certainly affected their relationships among family and friends, also the society as a whole. In this essay, i will outline its causes and the way it affects their personal and professional life.

I believe that it is good that people make the most of every opportunity to complete their work at the company because it is not only raise the level of salaries, position at work but also, somehow, contribute positive directly to the growth of the nation's economy. The more they work, the more profits they make, the better they can fulfill their own basic needs and their quality of life, the more they can hand out to the national income through taxes. For example, with a living wage which people could live on with reasonable comfort, they could pay their rent and buy food, pay bills and then have a tiny little bit left over for luxuries such as clothes and travel.

On the other hand, I think there is no dout that "workworms" are gradually killing a nation long run. First of all, working day-in and day-out with a hectic of workloads without knowing about their overall sense of well-being, time, relationships has become a common epidemic among young peple introducing morbidities involing mental and physical health like stress, depression, obesity leading to sleep dificiency, heart attack, other cardiovascular problems, stroke,...making them unable to work and keep sacrificing for the nation,putting great presure on the social welfare and others who still able to work. Secondly, too busy at work will accidentially push their family become second prioritiy and even wipe the existence of their friends out of their life,thus creating themselves a gap between people leading to a lonely, meaningless life. Take Korean, Japan and American as a typify example. All of those 3 countries mentioned above are all developed countries, they are merely the leaders of the world's economic growth and technology advanced thanks for the great efforts its people made. However they all see a rise in deaths of despair mainly because adults from woking-class can no longer stand intensive working schedules.

In conclusion, it seems to me that working harder and longer can affects people in both negative and positive ways.