IELTS Task2. Can you please review it

These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

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Even though teaching was a popular job for graduate students before, these days the number of students willing to become a teacher has declined significantly, especially in secondary schools. Many reasons cause this problem. This essay is going to express the causes of this issue and the solution to tackle this problem.

Firstly, the main drawback of secondary teaching is the low salary. During the last years, teacher's pay has increased much less than other jobs. Consequently, fewer graduates will decide to be a teacher. In fact, teaching is not a lucrative job, and comparing to other jobs graduates see they can earn twice as much if they work as an engineer or lawyer. A solution for the government is to increase the earning of teachers and provide more facilities for them.

The second most effective cause is the behavior of children.
Before, children used to look up to their teachers and had more respect for them. No one would ever disobey the teachers or become rude to them. On the contrary, nowadays pupils have become rebellious and behave badly in school. I think the only way to tackle this problem is that parents should have stricter rules at home and teach their offspring how to behave with adults and their teachers.

Last but not least, teaching is an extremely demanding job. In addition to spending many hours at school teaching children, teachers are always snowed under paperwork and have to stay at work late.
The way forward might be to assign one or two teaching assistants to each teacher to reduce the burden of work on teachers, so they can have a better work-life balance. If the government employee more teaching assistants, it would make teaching an easier job, subsequently, more graduates will be encouraged to choose teaching as their profession.

To conclude, the problem of teacher shortages is becoming a serious issue. Teacher's salaries, the behavior of children, and the load of the job are some reasons why it is becoming less popular. Actions must be taken urgently to alleviate this issue, otherwise the education system with suffering. The main responsibility to solve this lies with parents and governments.

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Thank you in advance for your review.