IELTS task1- British Airport. Can you please review it?

Question

Can you please review my essay and give an approximate score? Many thanks

the table below highlights data on the number of travelers using three major British airports between 1998 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given table demonstrates data about how many people use three major British airports named Heathrow, Gatwick, and Stansted to travel, over the six-year between 1998 and 2003. The given data is in million.
Overall, what stands out from the table is that Gatwick and Stansted experienced a rising trend, while Heathrow fluctuated in the given period. Another interesting point is that Gatwick airport was the most popular one in the end.
Looking at the details, as regards Heathrow, the number of travelers increased in the first three years and reached a peak at 48.2 in 2000, and after that, it fell slightly in the next two years from 48.2 to 33.2 and finally rose in the last year and became the second most popular airport.
Regards Gatwick, it saw a steady growth between 1998 and 2003 and remained the highest figure except in 2000. The number of people using Gatwick airport rose shortly in 2003, rocketing to 69.3 million. With respect to the number of people using the Stansted airport, between 1998 and 2001 it increased considerably from 17.3 to 43.3 and leveled off in the last 3 years.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The ~~given~~ ("Given table" is unnatural English. Do not use "given, provided' above or below") table demonstrates (unnatural verb. People demonstrate. Tables do not) data about (Vague and unnatural. Data cannot be "demonstrated" also, do not use "information about" . Write exactly what items are in the cells of the table.) how many people use three major British airports named (Unnatural. These airports are very well known.) Heathrow, Gatwick, and Stansted ~~to travel~~, over the six-year (ungrammatical. Six-year is an adjective. Where is the noun?) between 1998 and 2003. The given data is in million. (wrong expression. )

Overall, ~~what stands out from the table is that~~ (These words are "filler". They do not tell the reader anything about the information. Delete them.) Gatwick and Stansted experienced (wrong word) a rising trend, while Heathrow fluctuated (very wrong word) ~~in the given period~~. ~~Another interesting point is that~~ (These words are "filler". They do not tell the reader anything about the information. Delete them.) Gatwick airport was the most popular one in the end.
Looking at the details, as regards Heathrow, the number of travelers increased in the first three years and reached a peak at 48.2 in 2000, and after that, it fell slightly in the next two years from 48.2 to 33.2 and finally rose in the last year and became the second most popular airport.
Regards Gatwick, it saw a steady growth between 1998 and 2003 and remained the highest figure (wrong word) except in 2000. The number of people using Gatwick airport rose shortly (not a proper word here.) in 2003, rocketing (wrong word) to 69.3 million. With respect to the number of people using the Stansted airport, between 1998 and 2001 it increased considerably from 17.3 to 43.3 and leveled off in the last 3 years.

You mainly copied the numbers from the table. There was very little comparison.

For your incorrect word usage, please read my advice for these essays.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Example:

The table lists, for each year between 1998 and 2003, the number of travellers using each of the three major airports serving London, Heathrow, Gatwick and Stansted.

Overall, the number of people using these airports nearly doubled over the six years, from 81 to 158 million. However, this increase was not equally distributed among the three airports. In 1998, Gatwick, the largest, handled more than twice the number of Stansted, the smallest of the three. By 2003, Stansted had gained market share, but was still the smallest of the three.

Gatwick served the largest number of passengers in every year except 2000, where it was briefly overtaken by Heathrow, 48.2 versus 44.4 million passengers. Stanstead was a close third, having nearly 40 million, about 10% less Gatwick. Its growth in passenger volume came in the first three years, rising from 17.3 to nearly 40; from 2001-2003, the number of passengers it served was the same, 43.3 million. However, that was more than two and a half times as many as in 1998. Gatwick was the only airport which served fewer travellers in the final year, 2003, than in a prior year. Its peak came in 2000. In the final year, 2003, roughly half the travellers went through Gatwick with a quarter each for the other two.

IELTS task1- British Airport. Can you please review it?

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