IELTS TASK 2_RESIST CHANGING

Question

Hello, this is my writing for IELTS Task 2. Please read it and give me any advice to improve my skills. Any feedback is highly appreciated. Thank you very much

Topic: People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

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Heraclitus once said: “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.”. Apparently, changes are inevitable in our lives. However, naturally, people tend to be reluctant to make changes in their lives. There are many problems caused by this resistance to change, hence practical solutions have to be made if we want to happy life.

To many people, changing their lives is not always easy; therefore, most try to stay the same, refusing any changes. And that is where conflicts are born. Take a family as an example. While older members such as parents or grandparents are usually quite conservative, younger ones can be open-minded and happily accept changes, which makes conflicts easily happen. Moreover, refusing to change can make you fall behind others quite quickly. Our society is developing with a whirlwind speed and many changes have taken place in our surroundings. If we do not change ourselves, our way of living to adapt to new conditions, it will be we that suffer most as the world will not kind enough to wait for us, or to put it more clearly, we are highly likely to be left behind.

Several solutions can be made about this problem. First, as well as the most important factor, we have to realize that changes are unavoidable, and trying to stop them is meaningless. Spending time to read books, newspapers is a good way to keep you informed of what is happening around you. We have to believe that changes can benefit you more and make our lives more comfortable. Families and friends can help, too. There are many reasons resulting in people’s resistance to changes, and usually, they need help instead of criticism. Families, relatives, friends should act in these positions. They can back these people, giving them enough courage and determination to get out of their bubbles.

In conclusion, resisting changes only make lives more difficult. Should you want a happy life, you have to tackle your way of thinking, change your mind bit by bit, step by step by small actions.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You wrote over 350 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.
First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for these errors. Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points.
Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic.
Fourth, you will take a lot of time writing, and not have time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, and that lowers your score.
Fifth, you will not have enough time to spend on Task 1, and get a lower score there.

Aim for 270-290 words for IELTS Task 2. With practice, you will get a feeling for the word count.

Heraclitus once said: “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.”. ~~Apparently,~~ Changes are inevitable in our lives. However, naturally, people tend to be reluctant to make changes in their lives. There are many problems caused by this resistance to change, (comma splice error. https://www.chompchomp.com/terms/commasplice.htm) hence practical solutions have to be made if we want to happy (wrong word. happy is not a verb.) life.

To many people, changing their lives is not ~~always~~ easy; therefore, most try to stay the same, refusing any changes. And that is where conflicts are born. Take a family as an example. While older members such as parents or grandparents are usually quite conservative, younger ones can be open-minded and happily accept changes, which makes conflicts ~~easily happen~~. Moreover, refusing to change can make you fall behind others quite quickly. Our society is developing with a whirlwind speed and many changes have taken place in our surroundings. If we do not change ourselves, our way of living to adapt to new conditions, it will be we who ~~that~~ suffer most as the world will not kind (wrong word. Kind is not a verb.) enough to wait for us, or to put it more clearly, we are highly likely to be left behind.

Several solutions can be made about this problem. First, ~~as well as the most important factor,~~ we have to realize that changes are unavoidable, and trying to stop them is meaningless. Spending time to read books, newspapers (ungrammatical series. missing conjunction) is a good way to keep you informed of what is happening around you. We have to believe that changes can benefit us ~~you~~ more and make our lives more comfortable. Families and friends can help, too. There are many reasons resulting in people’s resistance to changes, and usually, they need help instead of criticism. Families, relatives, friends (ungrammatical series. missing conjunction) should act in these positions. They can back these people, giving them enough courage and determination to get out of their bubbles.

In conclusion, resisting changes only make lives more difficult. Should you want a happy life, you have to tackle your way of thinking, change your mind bit by bit, step by step by small actions. (ungrammatical structure.)

Your writing is far too vague and general. It is filled with generalities and platitudes. Your writing would improve if you gave at least one personal example. Do you know of someone who was afraid to make a change in their lives? What was the choice and did they make the change?
What kind of changes are you yourself resisting? What are you fearful of? Are you going to make that change? What was the largest change you have made in your life?

IELTS TASK 2_RESIST CHANGING

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