IELTS Task 2 Writing

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Please check this ILETS Task 2 writing for me.

In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Against the backdrop of the debate involving equality and personal achievement, some people say that people achieve a high level of success in egalitarian societies. But, some others contend that personal achievement is more in societies that reward individual merit. Personal achievement is certainly higher only when society rewards its people depending on their individual effort.

Egalitarian societies ensure their members achieve a high degree of success. These societies give all their members equal access to the state’s resources irrespective of skill or effort. One of my father’s friends whose son did not pass an entrance exam to an engineering course relocated to a State where everybody had equal access to education. The boy who would have otherwise worked as a two-wheeler mechanic after grade 12 was able to graduate as a mechanical engineer and land a high-paying job.

Societies that reward their members based on their merit promise a higher level of personal achievement. As egalitarian societies offer equal opportunities to everyone, skilled and talented individuals might lack the motivation to achieve great things as they see those lacking the skill or will being offered as much as what they get. But, a society that rewards its individuals proportionate to their effort motivates people to work harder and achieve more personal achievements. Also, the ones who fail for one reason or another realize they can come up only when they work hard.

In conclusion, though an egalitarian society offers its people equal access to all its resources to become successful, people achieve a greater level of personal achievement only in a community where individuals succeed or fail depending on their skill and effort.